Ah, hopeless romance
I got together with my current missus, who I shall call L as she may or may not read this and so don't really wanna embarrass her too much if she does, a few years back, over the GameFAQs Roleplaying and Fanfiction section (Read: The uber-geeky writing section) where we both did some roleplaying (Read: I wrote stuff, she wrote stuff, others wrote stuff and we all came up with a story. Not the other kind of roleplaying ;) )

However, we kinda split up for a bit, and moved on in our own separate ways (Read: She got with another bloke, I got with another woman who I seduced whilst she was lying on my bed listening to Supermassive Black Hole. I am the master of smooth!) and carried on as friends happily.

Until me and the ex decided things weren't going too smoothly, she in fact fancied another bloke and didn't want to carry on with me, which would have been fine had we not been discussing getting married and planning the engagement and the wedding at the time (And for the record, it was her idea to get hitched, not mine. Silly bint.)

Anyway, I slink back to L, tail between my legs and my head completely fucked up (literally effed up, I was diagnosed as being bipolar type 2 after being dragged to the docs by my ex for being suicidal), and she helped me out. Long story short, we are now somewhat together in that she loves me, but has a boyfriend who she doesn't want to hurt by breaking up with him. He knows nothing apart from the fact that me and her talk. Bizarre love triangle, anyone?
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 0:42, 6 replies)

She's using you.
She doesn't love you, she just enjoys having two blokes on the go at the same time.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 8:00, closed)

^I agree with this
I've been in her position, and if you actually love someone you won't hang on to someone else because you don't want to hurt them. you have to suck it up and do it.

otherwise you are a fucking pussy or a liar
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 9:09, closed)

Typical situation
Tell her to call you when she dumps the other guy.

Every time she calls you from then on (don't call her) ask her if she's dumped him yet. If not, don't talk to her for long.

When she finally says yes (and I reckon it won't be long at all) make a date :D

Good luck!
(Jester_, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 15:24, closed)

Okay
Juan: Ya reckon she's using me? You been in the same situation then?

Vipros: I take it that you sucked up and did it? I'm not trying to sound vicious or nasty or anything, just curious as to what you did in that situation.

Jester: I'll take that advice, although I don't speak to her on the phone for that long anyway. I have a rule, "do not speak to women on the phone for longer than you can have sex with them" which I follow religiously.
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:16, closed)

I agree
with that rule. Just keep it short on the phone.

If you don't give her an incentive to leave the other bloke, she will carry on as she is.

Juan Quar's expression 'using you' is about right - not for money/gifts/greed, just for the ego boost of having more than one guy interested.
(Jester_, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:34, closed)

I did indeed
hardest thing I've ever had to do. I'd been with her almost 3 years, and lived with her the whole time.

got to towards the end of uni and I started thinking about the future. this coincided with me and the current Mrs V realising we liked each other.

I decided to wait until my ex had finished her finals and dissertation before actually finishing with her, which was hard. I'd told her that I wasn't sure I loved her etc. so wasn't just stringing her along.

I didn't tell her that there was someone else because that wasn't really the main issue we just had aims that were too different for things to really carry on properly after uni.

like I said though, it was hard. Full story is in my profile if you want to read it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 9:42, closed)