Catharsis *don't feel you need to read - it's long, not funny, and probably quite self-pitying*
Met a girl about a year ago - friend of a friend. We got on really well, she made it quite clear she liked me, but, whilst I thought she was attractive, I was more interested in friendship.

Eventually, after about two months, we went out together, we got drunk and the inevitable happened. The next day I tried to do the 'right thing' (at least what I thought it was - comments anyone?) and told her that, whilst I did care about her, I really saw her as a friend and that I didn't want to use her for sex.

Anyway, over the next 6 months we did sleep together again quite a few times (maybe 10/12?) (often with me repeating the 'I don't want to do that anymore' line the next day*).

She always said she didn't want a boyfriend, that she just liked me and that we could just enjoy the sex - it didn't have to mean anything (yes, I should have twigged then).

I always told her that, to me, sex does mean something: sleeping with someone you only like as a friend is using that friendship** and I didn't want to use her that way because I cared about her.

Anyway, after 6 months or so the opportunity came up to go to a music festival together. Some of my favorite bands were playing and I really wanted to go. But, I knew a weekend of drunkness in a tent would mean us sleeping together again and I was determined to do the 'right thing' and stop.

So, I told I didn't want to go, and why. I told her I really liked spending time with her and that I wanted to continue doing that and didn't want to feel like I was just using her anymore - she was worth more to me than that.

She went to said festival with another friend. Whilst there she met a complete stranger and had a one-night stand, telling me when she came back.

A week or two later she told me she'd been to another concert, another one-night stand.

This week she told me she's met another guy. She also admitted she has no idea how many guys she has slept with - over 30 in the last 2 years (though neither of us was (to my knowledge) sleeping with anyone else whilst we were still sleeping together). I knew she had had a number of boyfriends before but now she admits that most were just one-night stands.

I want to be friends with her, when meet up just the two of us we actually seem to get on better than when we were sleeping together, but I hate the fact she is sleeping around so much. And that she tells me all about all the guys she meets. And that when she's with her friends she now ignores me - even though she says she still wants me to go out with her.

I'm still trying to decide if the friendship can work - especially since I've met someone else now. I'd miss her as a friend (and regret spoiling the friendship by thinking with my cock when I'm drunk), but her sleeping around so much still gets to me - I guess because, although I didn't see us in a relationship, I did want the sex to mean something and now it's clear it didn't.

I know, I'm messed up.

Sorry you had to read all that.

*Ladies, I know that makes me a cnut...
**I know it didn't always stop me doing it (see*)
(ComplexStuff Was confused by life on, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 19:20, 2 replies)

Break if off completely with her.
Your both too fucked up about the relationship for it to be sucessful in any way.

After a while the feelings, (whatever they are), will go and you can get on with your life.
( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 19:38, closed)

Where to start?
You and her, need to have a st down and talk (a real talk) explain everything clearly.

It is a messed up situation, gotta hand it to you (almost as bad as my own)

my guess as to her telling you the details of her sexual behaviour to try and use jealousy to win you over... obviously this isn't working

I've got major props for you being as frank about it and not making youself seem the saint. Best of luck in saving the friendship
(tammybear1985, Sat 30 Aug 2008, 5:10, closed)