A tale of friendship, lust, and ill-timed feelings.
Get comfy, this could be a long one. Might I also suggest kleenex, I know I need them.

I met my current squeeze at college, about 7 years ago. For the purpose of this story, we shall call him Al, for that is his name. It was pure friendship at first, I had a fella, he was just a dude I got stoned with. We had the same mates and drank in the same pub and he quickly became a really good friend.

Anyway, about 2/3 years later, after a string of rubbish boyfriends, I found myself single. I had a small gathering one night, just a couple of college mates, and after getting suitably mullered, everyone bar Al left. We stayed up til sunrise talking, the inevitable kiss happened, and I went to work the next day very tired but very happy.

The next few weeks were a bit of a disaster. Thanks to one of the aforementioned rubbish boyfriends I had a few "issues", mainly with the more intimate side of things, and I ended up having a wobbler and running away. And so begins the last 4 years of my romantic life - Al and I went on and off with various issues on both sides, each time would be "the absolute, definite, 100% end", but we'd always end up back together.

This went on, and intensified over the last year and a half... the last 6 months in particular. Because that's about the time I applied to university...

When I applied, I didn't think much of our little situation. While I knew he meant a lot to me, it seemed it would never really go anywhere. We had never been "serious" as such, for various reasons and doubts it just seemed like it would never work. So when I decided to leave Al didn't play a huge part in my decision. And everything was fine, but then...the past 5/6 months have been so intense, it's like as soon as we knew there was a defining end point for all this, we realised just how little we wanted it to be over. And I've only gone and fallen in love with him before leaving. And while I know I'll always have a best friend in him, without question (yay), it breaks my heart to know I'll never get to find out if it could have been more.

This is more of a confession than an answer. Sorry. But it's sort of a mixture of romance AND rejection. So shush, it's made me feel better to get it off my chest. And a final word of advice: Never let any opportunity pass you by. It might hurt, then again it might just be the best thing in the world, and that's a stupid thing to throw away.
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Mon 1 Sep 2008, 20:21, 7 replies)

?
Can't Al go with you? Or is he not as in love with you?
Are you too far away for visits?
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Mon 1 Sep 2008, 20:25, closed)

I'll be 200 miles away
Far too far for long distance. We're not ruling out anything in the future but I've done the long-distance thing and it's just not possible.

We've considered every option, believe me.
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Mon 1 Sep 2008, 20:39, closed)

This might sound daft
But get him to move where you are, or find a course closer to him?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 1 Sep 2008, 21:30, closed)

Um...
200 miles away is, well, not a lot. I did the long distance thing for 2 years, and yeah, it's not as fun as living closer to them, but if you really... "love" him, as much as you're saying you do, you would give it a shot. Regardless whether you'd think it wouldn't work out or not, because love is like that.
(adamjc is awesome, Mon 1 Sep 2008, 21:54, closed)

^^
She's off to uni- where's a student going to get the money to be making that one work?

It's sad, but you guys have had 7 years to get this off the ground. I know a lot of couples who weren't serious until the point came where they were separated by circumstance, and they suddenly "discovered" that they were meant for each other. It's about wanting what you can no longer have, and you've known each other long enough to know that it can't work. If you were truly intended for each other, you'd have figured it out by now. Just make sure you keep what sounds like a great mate.
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Mon 1 Sep 2008, 22:39, closed)

200 miles
I've never lived in the UK, so I don't quite get the thing with distance,but 200 miles is nothing. You can drive 200 miles in 4 and 1/2 hours.--you could see him every weekend.

I've driven 150 miles in a single day, easy just to see patients. I am not saying it's a bad excuse, I'm just saying I don't understand why that would get in your way. 2000 miles, yeah, ok. But 200? There's a guy at my husband's work who commutes 200 miles round trip twice a week.
If he's your true love, for Pete's sake, don't let that stand in your way.


*Is there something I don't know about England? Is an English mile like 6 times longer than an American mile? Are the roads so crap you can only drive 15 kph or something?
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 3:03, closed)

Oh... Kleenex for _tears_ (*disappointed*)
Apologies for tone lowering, have a click.

Yes, the M25 is that bad at times.

Agree that 200 miles isn't a lot, but equally that doesn't mean that everybody can cope with it. Some people just don't do the distance thing.
( bluemeat has been best of all the animals since, Tue 2 Sep 2008, 12:43, closed)