My mum
god bless her.

We were making roasted chessnuts in the oven. As we didnt have an oven dish, my mum came up with the clever idea of making a tinfoil parcel to roast them in.

Once cooked, she retreived the piping hot nuts from the oven laid them on the work top and began peeling open the parcel.

*BANG*

The chestnuts exploded out of the bag, plastering my mum and the ceiling, with bits of burning nuts.

What did I do?

P!ss myself laughing. Not sure why, but perhaps it was the fact there was a perfect stensil outline of my mums head on the ceiling where the nuts hadnt stuck to the ceiling, but hit here instead.

She was screaming, I was doubled over.

I still feel guilty, but it was funny as fook.
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 10:36, 1 reply)

From the second time onwards
that I roasted chestnuts, I put a little slit in the shell. The first time, after about 10 mins I heard a bang, followed by another, then followed by what sounded like a shootout in the oven.

Mrs SLVA and the kids (who were about 5 or 6 at the time) rushed through just in time to see me open the door as another chestnut went bang, which caused me to jump out of way so I could fall over and drag the bin on top of me.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 10:47, closed)