Sid
Sid was an absolute fucking legend around me and my mates a few years ago. Absolutely bloody mental, up for anything, weird and kinky old Sid. We had some of the best laughs of our lives with the guy. Proper good bloke.

Now, part of the reason Sid was a legend was the fact that he was a bit weird. He wasn't the freaky as fuck kind of person you meet - the type that walks around town in slippers muttering and follows you home if you so much as make eye contact. No, Sid just had some interesting sexual persuasions.

And by that I mean anything got Sid going.

ANYTHING.

We've all been in a stage like that at roughly 14 - 16, or younger for some, where anything gets you going. Fair enough. Thing was, Sid was 19 pushing on 20, so the phase had taken him over and held with him. But fair enough, it was always a laugh.

Given the way almost anything got him going, we nicknamed him Pleasures.

We had a few - usually drunken - months of fun with good old Sid, or Pleasures as he was soon known. "Go on, Pleasures, have a wank over that spider plant", or "Hey, Pleasures, fancy dry-humping this park bench?", or the all-time-legend, "Pleasures, bet you can't catch a pigeon and rub your cock over it until you cum?"

He could, it turned out.

We'd met him roughly in February while doing a pub crawl, and his nickname had come probably before even the second week of March. By April we were getting him shitfaced and getting him to do all manner of stuff every night of the week - something I know my wallet wasn't keen on.

May rolled around, and just as it came close to June we didn't see Pleasures for about a week. No problem, he worked nights now and then and got sent out of town every so often, so we didn't think much of it.

Three days before the start of June, we heard from him again. And boy, was he in a panic.

Actually, panic was an understatement. He looked prone to shit himself at any second - he was out of his fucking head. When we asked what the problem was, he wouldn't say.

What he did say, though, was that he needed us to be his alibi. For what, he wouldn't say. But if anyone asked, he'd been with us the entire week. No questions asked.

Obviously, judging by the look of him, we were all concerned, but a mate's a mate, right? So we agreed, somewhat uneasily, that we'd cover for him if any questions were asked.

Shortly afterwards, Pleasures seemed to settle down a bit. He was still on edge though, and he was panic-stricken again after just a couple of weeks, as we discovered when he called in on us to announce he was being taken to court.

"What for?" we demanded to know.

He wouldn't say. But he did want to know if we'd be his alibis or not, just to check. We said yes, but that didn't settle him. In the weeks coming up to the court hearing, he checked we were still his alibis, and he checked a lot. Several times a day in fact.

We were all going nuts by that point, expecting something to happen. Baz, another of my mates, who I shared a flat with (4 of us all rented one together), expected us to be dragged to court with Sid and interrogated about the week in question. That made us shit ourselves. What made us shit ourselves more, though, was how Baz's paranoia (probably from the amount of shit he smoked) made him tell us they'd do it separately, so none of the stories would match, and then we'd be thrown in jail along with Pleasures for whatever the fuck it was he did.

Thankfully, we didn't have to go to court. He was going to name us as 'witnesses' to his being around the week in question, but he cracked as soon as he got in there. Confessed everything and got taken away.

So what did he do?

We found out in the local paper a week after he was hauled away. "LOCAL LAD GIVES GOAT GOOD TIME", announced the headline.

Turns out Sid had disappeared for a week and hung out at a farm, where he had fucked a goat during the night more than once. All was well and good until the farmer caught him one night, and Sid tried blagging his way out of it. Said he was going to plead innocent to his goat fucking in court, because he was innocent.

That photo was the last time we saw 'innocent' Sid. Legend though he was, I don't think we really missed him after that. Well, most of us. I felt sore that I never really got to say goodbye to him.

So this is for you, Sid. Let your story be heard.

Good ol' Guilty Pleasures.
(ratthingbazzterd, Fri 14 Mar 2008, 21:00, 3 replies)

Ahahahaha!
I was under the impression that goat-fucking went out with the middle ages! I think the head-line gives the story extra win factor, so quaint...
(ladyflash Formally known as "oshi_", Fri 14 Mar 2008, 21:27, closed)

Well Gosh!
Another animal fucking story from OddGodHMK.

Fancy that!

*YAWN*

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Sun 16 Mar 2008, 2:25, closed)

Well Gosh!
Another post ending in a smug 'Cheers' from Legless.

Fancy that!

*YAWN*


Someone's taking things a bit harshly today - trouble with the wife?
(ratthingbazzterd, Sun 16 Mar 2008, 19:37, closed)