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This is a question Guilty Pleasures, part 2

It's been a while since we last asked this question and CaptainFellatioNelson's confession that he likes "to fart under the duvet, creep in and see how long I can last only on the fart air contained within" reminded us just how good it was last time.

What are the little things you do for fun when nobody else is around?

(, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 11:48)
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Swedish life: Perpetuating Stereotypes...
I'm afairly stocky lad: I grew up racing low-line slalom canoes in the river Severn, rock climbing and - in the words of Eddie Izzard - "Running, jumping, climbing trees" Eddie never mentioned shitting out of trees... but he's normal.

Ohhh.. digressing again.

So... going through puberty I became well built. No matter how much beer I drink, pies I eat and salads I dodge, I remain wide shouldered.

I attract comments akin to "you look like a football hooligan"... well, I Look the part, but that's where the similarity ends.

My standard Off-the-cuff retort used to be "Well you look like a porn star".... and when it was met with shock, I justified it with "Well, you're female, blonde, Swedish and have breasts... Ergo you MUST be a porn star"

Now that I'm all growed up and don't spend my time looking for the next wild night of sex, I enjoy pushing the envelope of credibility.

I Love it when people ask who my favourite team is... "No, I don't actually *like* football, I just go for the fighting"

"It's a shame that they've banned smoking here... Us Brits are nowhere near as effective in a fight without a good ashtray to punch with. ... No, really... the most serious injuries in Britain are caused by B&H ashtrays with the cast Malboro ones coming in a close second"

My favourite however is - in this country that banned smacking of children in 1975 - to commit the ultimate faux pas. "Well, When it's time to have kids, I want to move back to the UK... why? .... Well, I want to be able to hit them - my dad smacked the hell out of me, and I'm looking forward to smacking the hell out of my kids"

Obviously I'm joking, but there's a lot of Swedes who take it at face value and are utterly horrified. Lambs to the slaughter: each and every one.
(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 10:04, 6 replies)
I believe smacking is banned here now as well, though is still readily available on the black market...
(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 11:16, closed)
Wasnt that a Bill Hicks or Denis Leary line from a stand up show?
(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 11:45, closed)
I think it was Dennis Leary...
... But as most of his stuff is ripped/Paraphrased from Hicks, I'd imagine Hicks said it first.
(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 11:51, closed)
still, i do like a bit of leary once in a whle!
(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 12:33, closed)
Now that I'm all growed up and don't spend my time looking for the next wild night of sex
does this ever happen???

crap. maybe it should.

*envisages future of being alone and only eaten by alsatian in manner of bridget jones or similar*
(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 12:34, closed)

Debbie McGee apparently got caught on tape doing that... "iiiits Magic!!"

It does sometimes happen... though being growed up doesn't always last =)
(, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 12:42, closed)

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