Guilty Pleasures, part 2It's been a while since we last asked this question and CaptainFellatioNelson's confession that he likes "to fart under the duvet, creep in and see how long I can last only on the fart air contained within" reminded us just how good it was last time.
What are the little things you do for fun when nobody else is around?
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chthonic, Thu 13 Mar 2008, 11:48)
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I have an idea!All of this has inspired me to devise a new TV series for daytime BBC1…
Ready, Steady, Wank.
Two contestants will be ushered into a studio, where they will be probed by Ainsley Harriot on what wanking fodder they have been able to source for under a fiver.
Contestant 1: “Well, I’ve brought in an elastic band, a hamster, a Hessian sack and a length of vacuum cleaner cord”.
Contestant 2: “I’ve managed to obtain a syringe of anaesthetic, which I will plunge into my right arm to make it feel as though someone else is doing it. I’ve also brought in a picture of Lorraine Kelly / Henry Kelly (delete as appropriate if you’re a man / woman) ripped from the pages of Take-a-Break, which I intend to use as a delaying technique”.
The studio audience will then judge the contestants on technique / vocalisation / facial grimaces / mess produced, whilst in amongst this Ainsley does his best to interfere and generally put the contestants off their stroke.
I sometimes feel as though I’m wasted in rural regeneration…
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:26,
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