Am I being gullible? Time will tell…

I am currently in the middle of a highly detailed, dull-as-cockroach-shit, supposedly dead important, legally binding mission statement of process definitions blah blah blah.

I am quite phenomenally certain, that despite the fact that they will each sign it off as a veritable work of wonderment, not one of my managers, Directors or even the rutting German bloke who runs the corporation will be arsed to read one word of it. For them it is a pointless box-ticking exercise which will be filed away forever. They just don’t care

So sure am I in fact…that I have tested my theory by inserting the following line deep in the heart of the (so far) 35 page solid-block-of-text document:


“The Scalability Servers are scheduled to report back wibbly cunt splunge information to the DSM repository out of impact times”


I reckon they’re lucky to have me.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:08, 6 replies)

Please
Please may this story be true :)
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:14, closed)

Documentation
I put silly sentences all over Lloyds of London's repository documentation - not once in 6 years did anyone read it. If they had, they would realise that we never made ANY superheros redunant OR offered them part-time employment after having them shrunk enough to fit down cat-5 cable and retrieve data after translating SQL into 'superhero-speak'.

6 years! I ask you...
(dchurch bah, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:45, closed)

i do a similar thing with risk assesments
obviously we try to be safe as possible but I get really pissed off at fourteen year old admin assistants insisting on a document they never read or call me on . I make sure the first paragraph is ok then randomly cut and paste bits of the rest to see if they notice.

They don't , as a rule
(happyjoy last changed sig on, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:46, closed)

I know I was lucky to have had you : )
I have no doubt in my mind that this is true......


*ponders*


Yup! no doubt in my mind.
( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 10:46, closed)

Somtimes
Just sometimes, somebody reads them.

'Cos my old boss got bollocked when someone read the Disaster Recovery Plan and discovered that it suggested "clicking the Ruby Slippers together and wishing that we were back in Kansas"

And, for once, I had nothing to do with this.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Wed 27 Aug 2008, 12:15, closed)

I like this
I really do.

Somewhere in an ex-employer's "Emergency process" file there still remains the phrase

"If all else fails, fuck off to Rio with the pension fund"

inserted by a colleague of mine with more backbone than brains. It got past three directors who clearly don't read what they sign.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 27 Aug 2008, 15:03, closed)