Public pee-pee
Won't happen, no way, no how.

If there are other people around and I'm not in the cubicle, forget it. My bladder sphincter closes tighter than the civil service's austerity measures and nothing happens. When I first found this out as a kid, I was at a camp in the cub scouts and didn't piss for about 2.5 days. To this day, I'm not sure how that is physically possible.

I have no problem using a urinal, or up against a tree while enjoying the great outdoors, but there has to be zero chance of being overseen.
(MonkeyToes is thinking about a back sac and crack on, Sun 4 Jul 2010, 23:47, 7 replies)

Yup same here
There's a disorder for that. (There's one for everything isn't there). Generally nicknamed "bashful bladder"

I hate busy pubs because of this.

Edit: Try mental arithmetic it's no magic cure but sometimes the distraction helps
(Cloudane, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 0:23, closed)

isn't it
'shy bladder' syndrome?
(El Fandango carved a big EF onto his nemesis' doublet on .., Mon 5 Jul 2010, 8:07, closed)

Shy/bashful
Both mean the same thing. Seen it named both ways.
(Cloudane, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 17:22, closed)

thank fuck there's more of us around
being drunk tends to help I find.

What is particularly annoying is at work, I'll take the risk and go to a urinal hoping I can starting blasting away before someone comes. (Once I'm going I'm alright) Fairly frequently however some twat from my office will come in, take position at the urinal next to me and start fucking talking to me. It's not been unknown for me to stop mid-stream, and be unable to continue and then have to wait for them to leave and jump in the fucking cubicle to finish up.

stupid fucking bladder.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 11:03, closed)

I'm like that too
Once I'm started it's not a problem, but standing there trying to get the flow to commence when someone else is present just won't happen.

Unless I'm really bursting and it's an effort to hold it in, but those occasions are rare.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 13:16, closed)

Why the talking?
WTF is it about talking at urinals - it's just wrong!

On the odd occasion I can get in there, with no one around and get going full stream, why come and talk to me? Mid-stream stoppage feels like it will cause your bum to explode at least!

And as I live in a country where people will answer their phones while doing both number ones and number twos, I'd like to make it a rule that public loos have mobile signal blockers!
(MonkeyToes is thinking about a back sac and crack on, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 15:35, closed)

This
I have even left the pub I was in and walked up the road to a different one after discovering that all the cubicles in the pub I was in were all nailed shut.

I don't think I've used a urinal for about 15 years now...

EDIT: Also my partner finds it highly amusing to talk to me loudly through the bathroom door, as she KNOWS I can't pee while she's listening in!
(Imaginary Ed was dreamed up on, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 14:17, closed)