Heckling the audience
I was at a comedy cabaret type affair, and behind me was a group that included a girl who, it appeared, had no discernable sense of humour. The first couple of acts she didn't enjoy much, which was apparent from her comments. But the third act really got to her.

It was Mac McDonald, famous as Captain Hollister from Red Dwarf. Now I have to say it wasn't a great act; all I remember about it was him stuffing bread into his mouth. But I wasn't really able to pay attention, as I had the constant whine of her complaints directly behind my left ear the whole time. "I don't think this is funny." "I don't find this funny at all." "Why would anyone find this funny?" etc etc etc.

Eventually, he finished, left the stage, and there was a momentary pause. "Well I think - " began the girl, but before she could continue I turned around and, in a loud voice, said "Yes love, I think the whole room knows what you think by now, so could you please shut the fuck up now?"

There was a cheer from many of the punters around her, but that was as nothing compared to the howls of derisive laughter from the people she was actually with. For the rest of the show, they wouldn't let her say a single word.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 17 Jun 2014, 9:06, 11 replies)

Needless to say, you had the last laugh there.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 17 Jun 2014, 9:19, closed)

And Mum did Dalesteaks for tea.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 17 Jun 2014, 9:23, closed)

all that shit I mumbled into my sleeve and her boyfriend liked looked at me so I ran away and cried
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 17 Jun 2014, 10:06, closed)

How the fuck do you like at someone?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 17 Jun 2014, 10:17, closed)

I like at you. I like at you real good. Ten dollar you can like at my face and tits.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 17 Jun 2014, 11:09, closed)

arf!

( rofl harris, Tue 17 Jun 2014, 13:29, closed)

As if you don't like at people all the time.
You massive fucking liker atter.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 17 Jun 2014, 11:41, closed)

Well, it's a bit like jizzlobbing.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 17 Jun 2014, 13:44, closed)

I bet he told him to stay about from his missus.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 17 Jun 2014, 10:40, closed)

I was expecting such a response. But, as it happens, this is true.

I leave the fantasy stories to other, more skillful exponants of the art. My stories are all true.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 17 Jun 2014, 11:00, closed)

all that shit I like to lick dogs on the bumbum
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 17 Jun 2014, 11:10, closed)