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This is a question Helicopter Parents

Back when young ScaryDuck worked in the Dole office rather than simply queuing in it, he had to deal with a claimant brought in by his mum. She did all the talking. He was 40 years old.

Have you had to deal with over-protective parents? Get your Dad to tell us all about it.

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 15:13)
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Oh dear
This is going to be the first of many posts for me...

I'm the oldest of 9 children, by way of family separation/reattachment through my father's second marriage. To be called the Brady bunch is a fallacy.. none of us got on.

However, the overprotectiveness of my stepmother has stunted my social and behavourial growth in such a way that b3ta is probably the first to ever hear this rant... :(

Please for the love of my sanity: can anyone else please tell me that they were treated as a child of a younger age when being held in an environment with younger children? I swear I was Child 1.0, a beta model that wasn't allowed to undergo any unknown tests or trials, such as afterschool activities, social activities with friends, excursions alone to town, until one of my younger siblings was first granted permission after an age of nagging.

Not that I didn't try:

* I tried for years to be allowed to participate in school debating in year 8, 9 and 10. Events were held afterschool, when there was no sun out. DENIED. 3 years on, sibling was going to regional championships after being able to compete locally.

* Year 12 extension excursion to the reefs for biology studies / a week off school. I "wasn't interested in biology because I wasn't taking it", even though I was invited to attend even though I had "no knowledge". DENIED. All other siblings that were invited attended. Had the "Best. Time. Ever."

Hell, this one still gets me worked up..

* High School Graduation. I was not allowed to attend because it was held in town, on a weeknight. I WAS 17 YEARS OLD AND I WASN'T ALLOWED OUT AT NIGHT. (Except for work. But even then, I was to leave at the latest opportunity (usually ending up being late) then travel home without delay (which meant any lag time from arrival was never caught up) This was the same for Student Awards Nights too. I was never awarded my graduation nor subject prizes. My subject prizes were just passed to me weeks after the event, usually bent from being thrown about in the admin building.. or posted 3 months after I left highschool in a soggy envelope.


And that's just a few of the issues of BULLSHIT I've put up with.

I'm ok now.

I've moved thousands of miles away to a 'scary town' (which is awesome) for a job that a 'monkey could do' (IT consulting) with a 'man that is too old and will take advantage of me' (he's awesome and all :3 ).

RANTING Suspended. More to follow. Continue? (Y/N): _
(, Sat 12 Sep 2009, 11:59, 10 replies)
You're not the only one.
I know someone whose story is similar. Beverly was barely allowed out of the the house until she was 20 and even then had to phone her Mum at 4pm and 9pm. This was still going on after she was engaged to an old school mate of mine. She was the oldest of three. Her younger sister Jan, who I took out a couple of times didn't have to, or maybe she just refused.
(, Sat 12 Sep 2009, 12:13, closed)
Eldest children get the worst deal.
Hell, I was pretty much blackmailed into helping a younger sibling break 'curfew'. But that was a fun thing to do.. say you had work.. disappear for 5 hours and do *nothing*.

I couldn't sit for a week after the beating for that one, but it was so worth it. *daydreams*
(, Sat 12 Sep 2009, 12:48, closed)
Y, Enter.
Thankyou for sharing; you are not alone.

It sounds breathtakingly naive of them to assume that not taking a subject equals no interest in subject. They're known as academic choices, and pretty much all schoolkids have to make them. There just aren't enough hours in the day, nor enough school resources, to do everything that you want* - you'd think that parents might have realised that by the time their children are in education.

I couldn't take every subject I wanted, having been steered (with the best intentions) into a combination that was "best" for an unspecified future career in something. Even though that meant not doing Physics at school, because I wasn't 'good' at it; which contributed to later struggling and failing at University in Biology**, a subject I was 'good' at.

In the interests of fairness, could there have been finanical issues restricting the Y12 excursion? I'm the middle of 3 and I had to limit trips with school: Money was the real issue, but pride forces people to come up with other excuses. That doesn't explain the rest, though.

I'll try not to be annoyingly trite, and say that despite your past you've done allright (even though it seems true). But at least, having such an awareness of what happened should help you avoid repeating, from the other side, the same mistakes in the future.

* Of course, it didn't help that we had to spend a valuable slot on a compulsory study of a single book. I refer to mandatory RE, a GCSE in which has yet to prove of any academic value.
** Biology is really applied chemisty, which is really applied physics: xkcd.com/435/
(, Sat 12 Sep 2009, 21:51, closed)
Finacial Limitations?
Bah. I've had a job since 11 (paperround) and had to pay for all my own excursions/outings since then. I do believe I had to pay 'resource fee' ($180 to school for loaning of textbooks) from year 9 onwards.

It was never a issue of finance. It was an issue of DENIED.*

* Should read permission. Looking back now I wondered if she had a DENIED stamp that she used on permission slips. Seriously.
(, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 4:01, closed)
In that case, I don't really know what to say.

All I can think of is to resort to my fallback chirpy optimism: At least now you're older, hopefully you have the money to do the really fun stuff. That tankballing sounds like fun...
(, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 23:03, closed)
Most activities involve copious amounts of alcohol ^_^
(, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 11:46, closed)

(, Mon 14 Sep 2009, 9:11, closed)
That was lame, please dont bore me again.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 0:15, closed)
It was succinct and on topic. Seeing that in 7 months and 23 days you've only liked 14 qotw answers* (with no postings of your own), I think it's safe to assume you judge others with rather high standards. Nothing wrong with that, but it seems a little harsh to openly dump on the heartfelt truth of another person.

You don't have to read everything on b3ta. If you're finding it a dull week, you can always wait until the question closes and just read the 'best of' page; to skip straight to the popular stories.

* = Less than one 'like' every two weeks.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 3:39, closed)
I dont hit like
Cos its all shit. But I'm bored sometimes. My mates arent coming over for half an hour so I thought I might come see if there's anything good on here yet. Nope.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 17:31, closed)

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