i am seriously going to hell...
My 5 year old neice was being a little cow this evening, she said she hates me, and wishes id go away. Im just learning to drive, and I thought I would use this to my advantage in the battle that would shortly ensue.
me: Fine, well you should know that you arent getting any Christmas Presents ever again!
Cass: yeah I am, Santa loves me, he will bring me presents!
Me: No he *wont*, I just ran him over in my driving lesson, but on the plus side we have venison for tea!
Cass: (through tears) w w w whats venison?
Me: Rudolph! Now get to your room and think about what you've done!
Cass: YOU! you KILLED SANTA, I HATE YOU, YOU MURDERED CHRISTMAS!

its been 2 hours, and she is still in her room sobbing :S


im REALLY going to hell.
(santas_lil_hohoho is packing her vibrator suitcase, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 19:00, 5 replies)

Not yet
When you take her a burger with a nice clown nose one it, and eat it in front of her, THAT's when you're going to hell.
( MatJ LOOK, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 3:07, closed)

maybe
a side order of antler with that?
( mr schteven In a staring competition with a squid on, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 3:39, closed)

nah,
sounds like the little bitch deserved it.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 11:44, closed)

brilliant!
but what's happened since her parents came home?
(tweebianmonkey Should be known as Widget, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 12:53, closed)

well...
her mum played along...we had rudolf sandwiches for tea, it was really beef, but cass didnt know that. she hasnt spoke to me since, but part of me is glad, she is a mouthy little cow, her school wernt too pleased though when she announced in assembly that aunty hohoho had murdered santa. now i have 150 kids parents baying for my blood.

i might meet satan sooner than i thought...
(santas_lil_hohoho is packing her vibrator suitcase, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:56, closed)