Mocking the afflicted
To set the scene, this happened last night. Boss Keloid, happylittletulip and myself had all been drinking, and were standing at the taxi rank awaiting our chariot for the night. As in the way at these times, there was a massive queue. But it was civilised, and people were in good spirits, if a little cold.

And then, some marshals appeared, asking the queue to move against the wall. The trouble, or rather the twouble, was, that one of the queue marshals had a wather unfowtunate speech impediment and had a gweat deal of twouble pwonouncing the letter r. Naturally, we all found this hilawious.

But that's not the end of this sad sowwy tale. As we were sat in our taxi, quoting Monty Python and giggling howwibly at "Welease Woderwick" quotes, we thtarted to develop lithpth. It wath like an Igor convention without the thpit. And tho our journey pwotheeded on the way home.

And when we awwived at our dethtinathion, the taxi dwiver, with infinite majesty and calm, thimply thaid "That will be eight pound thixty pleathe". Ah, poor old tulip, it was too much for her. She squeaked "Keep the change!" as we all bundled out of the car twying to keep the fitth of laughter under contwol as the taxi made its' way into the dark, cold December night, accompanied by the dimming sounds of our by now vewy high-pitched laughter.

It may well be wrong (or wong, if you like) to mock those (or thothe) with a speech impediment, but by fuck it was funny.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Sun 14 Dec 2008, 9:57, 5 replies)

I can confirm
this is all true.

However, the taxi driver may well have been feeling lonely and simply attempted to join in.

We'll never know.

This bothers me.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Sun 14 Dec 2008, 10:18, closed)

Questions like these
shall forever remain part of the unanswered pile of questions.

EDIT: Now that I think of it, I suspect the taxi-driver was just trying to join in. If you hadn't have heard him speak before, chances are he was getting into the spirit of things.

Now, why do I over-analyse these things?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sun 14 Dec 2008, 17:27, closed)

Now that I think about it
the taxidriver might have been playing a trick to guilt his passengers into coughing up an extra tip.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 20:47, closed)

What bastard invented the word 'lisp'?
It's like asking someone with dyslexia to write down their handicaps on a form...
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sun 14 Dec 2008, 10:27, closed)

Here's a shocking opinion for you....
...The vast majority of so-called 'sufferers of speech impediments' are not caused by physical defect, but are instead psychological disorders or the result of childhood adoptive-affectations that went uncorrected. Furthermore, a significant percentage (more than 11%) of all speech-impediments are affectations adopted in adult life for social reasons (failed attempt at mimicking accent, desire to be accepted by social peers etc.) This percentage has been growing since around 1980, which explains why you hear many more 'speech impediments' these days than you did when you were a child.

In other words, there's a high chance that anyone you meet with a speech impediment (especially, it appears, if they are working in childrens television, or on Radio 4 in any capacity) are probably 'making it up' just to win your sympathy.

Treat them accordingly!

(Caveat: Statistics may appear closer in the mirror than they actually are).

.
(EffinDoubt is breaking glass on, Mon 15 Dec 2008, 8:58, closed)