My mate was a bit of a ‘one with the ladies’…

I was always insanely jealous…after all I'm better looking than him, better dressed, have more money…

What did he have that I didn’t?

The answer was…a pick up routine based on total cheesiness.

He just approached a beautiful girl, made ‘clawing’ gestures with his hands and pretended to growl…a la Austin Powers.

To me it seemed utter crap – but it worked every time – the babes were round him like flies round shite!

Well, one day, I went to a bar and tried his technique for myself…I approached an attractive young lady, did the gesture and made the sound.

The girl could hardly contain herself!” – she was all over me! Result!

So I did it again…and another girl just walked right up to me and fired in!

So I tried it again…but this time it backfired…because women young and old, attractive and fugly started to approach me…then men…and animals….they all rushed up to me and wanted a piece of my particular love action.

In a panic I called my mate, explained my situation and asked him what I should do…

He said: “I think I know what your problem is…

You’re ‘Grrr'-ing too well"

/coat.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:05, 13 replies)

Groan
I had to read the penultimate line three times before I got it.

GAH!

*cliok*
(Sahara Desert http://www.twitter.com/thesaharadesert for swears, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:11, closed)

!
*slips pistol into mouth silently*

*pulls trigger*
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:12, closed)

Damn you
hook. line. sinker
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:14, closed)

Thankfully, the only other person in the office...
Also reads b3ta, so she completely understood my huge office LOL.
( snee held his breath since, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:15, closed)

Oh Poof
You've done it again!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:17, closed)

*spangs*
*clicks*

xxx
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:18, closed)

Fucking
hell!

*also spangs*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 12:20, closed)

FFS
Tea sprayed over keyboard - check.
Near aneurysm from inhaling aforementined tea - check.
Freshly edge-sharpened spanging pan - check.
Satnav to Pooflakes house - check.


*click*
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:04, closed)

Ooh lovely...!

I will prepare for your arrival by pouring you out a can of beer and declaring it 'drugs o'clock'
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:10, closed)

Oh ffs
SPANG!
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:07, closed)

you are a bad man
grr...
( zulu eh?, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:27, closed)

*Spangs in a Nigella Christmas way*


*Chocolate included*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 13:44, closed)

I salute you
Another fine pun.
(ShitBitch, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 14:11, closed)