Geordie Dave , IT Superstar & the Expert Opinion
We held a Christmas party in the offices of the small insurance company I used to work for. Booze, party poppers, office equipment, a bunch of fuckwits, more booze... It made for a volatile atmosphere. Great party. But as with all great things, there were inevitable consequences.

The next morning Mr Spencer, the managing director, pulled us all into a meeting room. He was fuming, completely apoplectic with rage. He waved round a bit of paper, pointing at it, bunching his fists, then he’d reach for another sheet of paper and do the same thing, spitting pure fucking hatred towards his down trodden workforce during the season of goodwill.

Then Mr Spencer points to my mate Geordie Dave (who was the IT fella), and says: “Dave can tell me who did this!!! He’ll look it up and tell me!!! So whoever it was own up now!!!”

And Dave sort of gulped, went a bit white and started shaking his head: “Errr, Mr Spencer – no I can’t tell you.”

Mr Spencer, the MD, reared up like a raging bull and boomed: “You’re the IT expert! What the FUCK do I pay you for! Tell me who this FUCKING WELL belongs to!” And he jabbed his porky little finger at the sheet, almost punching a hole through it.

Dave looked round for help. No fucking chance. We were all scared shitless of Mr Spencer. But Dave wasn’t one for taking shit. Especially when he was nursing the kind of hangover that’d make Gazza proud. So he sort of shook his head and said: “You’re probably better off asking Sharon in accounts for her expert opinion.”

And the room errupted in laughter.

Thinking about it, Dave was probably right, Sharon was more likely to recognize which of the fellas had – during the boozy session the night before - unzipped, whapped their cock and balls on the photocopier and pressed the little green COPY button several dozen times.

I mean, she’d seen at least three-quarters of the cocks in the office firsthand at one time or another...
( SpankyHanky, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 13:40, 1 reply)

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I dont know how you do it week after week but I am glad you do.
(Obi wanker nobi Its not a bug, its an unexpected feature, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 14:01, closed)