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This is a question IT Support

Our IT support guy has been in the job since 1979, and never misses an opportunity to pick up a mouse and say "Hello computer" into it, Star Trek-style. Tell us your tales from the IT support cupboard, either from within or without.

(, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 11:45)
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Arrogant user or what?
A colleague was working on a project involving those tablet PC's and a mobile broadband connection to the office.

Our team was delivering the lot, building the tablet machines and even the backend servers. We knew what we were doing and we were pretty much spot on when we offered technical guidance to the rest of the project team.

Muppet rings up and aggressively asks colleague for detailed techincal help and was particularly arrogant and rude.

We actually recorded the outburst in a little book of random quotes:

Techie: ' so you will need to configure your tablet PC to use the URL of the web dispatcher since you are now connecting via the internet instead of the local ethernet blah blah blah...'
Muppet (Rudely interrupts): 'I have a degree in Biochemistry, you don't need to tell me about IT'

I mean seriously, WTF? If he knew the answer how come he couldn't get it working the twunt?
(, Mon 28 Sep 2009, 21:02, 2 replies)
That is what we call
A douche of the highest order. You shall not suffer such a one to live. Having dealt with many of them, the quickest way to deal with the creature is dear Simon's stack-brain theorem of management memory allocation. In brief: the manager plagued by stack-brain is vulnerable to a buffer overflow when more buzzwords are pushed onto the stack in too short a time for proper processing to occur. Try it out some time: the next time a user attempts to impress you by using a term that they feel indicates their membership among the Washed, ask them in rapid succession about topics related, as tangentially as possible, to the original term. Unless you are dealing with an actual IT person, the desired response will be something along the lines of "I... wha... huh..." signifying that you have hit your mark and must now roll for damage. This is done by, as casually as possible, stating that you are getting off topic as the topic broached by the user has fuckall to do with their actual problem.
(, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 2:59, closed)
"and must now roll for damage"
Did anyone else hear "White Dwarf" magazine getting a mention in Peep Show last week. Geektastic.
(, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 10:02, closed)

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