IT support turned me gay
My family didn't get a computer at home until I was 17. As my parents were both total technophobes and my brother was a particularly dippy 12-year-old, I became the family IT expert by default. Many's the time my parents looked on in wonder at their genius child pressing Ctrl + Alt + Del and magicking the machine back into life. They really didn't have a clue. They used it for emails only, which they typed with one finger.

My little brother was, as might be expected, a bit more savvy than them. And like any self-respecting 12-year-old boy, he quickly cottoned on to the fact that the internet was full of naked ladies. He spent A LOT of time "doing his homework" on the computer. However, although he managed to work out how to google "big tits", it never occurred to him to clear his history, or to turn off autocomplete, so unfortunately, I knew EXACTLY what he was up to. Every time you started to type "www.." you'd get a long list of helpful suggestions that gave me way more insight than I'd ever wanted into my younger sibling's sexual preferences. He was a dirty little bastard. However, there was one rather large problem standing between him and wanking heaven: the fact that the computer was situated in the hallway. How was he to crack one out when he wasn't alone in the house? Simple: print the stuff out.

One day, I was summoned by the parents to fix the printer. It was, like many of its kind, a temperamental beast, apt to crash and jam if you gave it too much paper, a big print job, or if it just didn't like your face. There was a big print job waiting - 64 pages, if I remember correctly - and the printer was throwing an almighty hissy fit. I switched it off, switched it back on again, gave it a good clip round the ear and the three of us watched in silence as it spat out 64 pages of hardcore lesbian porn in all its minge-tastic glory.

"Grandmasterfluffles," said my mother gently, "Is there anything you want to tell me?"

I tried to tell her it wasn't mine to no avail. She must either have been unfamiliar with the concept of men getting turned on by lesbians or disbelieving that her youngest could possibly be into that sort of thing - either way, she was convinced that I was gay for years. Thanks bro!
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 19:48, 3 replies)

I know how your Ma felt
as I once found a floppy tucked behind a pipe under the stairs, which turned out to contain pictures of gay men having gymnastic sex.

I wasuzzled but replaced it and forgot about it until Son 2 came out to us a year or so later.

No big deal - a son's a son, straight or gay.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 21:48, closed)

So which one was it...
... the sporty one, or the studious one?
(IChewCandlewax, Wed 30 Sep 2009, 14:23, closed)

Stupid printer.
I've realised this week just how many other people hate their printers.
I mean, turning you gay, that's just harsh.
(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Tue 29 Sep 2009, 22:03, closed)