Petty theft
Now there are far too many tall hitching tales on here and not enough petty fare-dodging.

I did do quite a bit of hitch-hiking in Scotland and the Netherlands, nothing overly scary or exciting. Friendly chats mostly.

To illustrate the lack of anecdotes here are the highlights: I recall an English bloke who picked me up at Nijmegen and introduced himself as Squirrel, the road warrior. Nothing more to the story.
Also in the Netherlands a black Golf with tinted glass, banging techno and leopard print interior driven by a platina-blond Russian girl in black latex. I was convinced she was some Russian maffia dominatrix, but the envisioned massive drugs and two-day orgy never materialised. Just a stream of menthol cigarettes were offered.
Finally a driver with 3 frozen rolls of kebab in the back, which he was delivering to a kebab shop his family had. I say frozen but this was a car without airco in a heatwave of 30+ Celsius.

Anyway: fare-dodging. This was in the days when I was not on a lot of money, although I could have afforded the fare for my commute. But as it happens I was also immature and found the high cost of living in London quite unfair.

So I would get on the tube in the morning and touch in with my oyster card, get off at Harrow Wealdstone, there are no gates at that end. I'd walk out without touching out and 9 hours later I would enter Harrow Wealdstone again without touching in. I would then touch out back at the original local station. The oyster card system wasn't as clever then and I was charged me 80p fare for entering the station and leaving again without travel. Regardless of the timespan. Later they put a maximum time on it and charged you the penalty fare after a couple of hours.

The beauty was that there was no actual offence until I left the station and was out of reach. While on the train I was travelling with a perfectly valid oyster card. Sometimes there was a group of inspectors at Harrow Wealdstone: I would touch out and nothing was amiss. On my way back I wouldn't touch in again and change trains to the overground Silverlink connections, their stations did not have gates back then.

TL:DR spoiled expat cries about London tube fares then puts far too much thought into petty crime.
(Bosch balls, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 22:35, 9 replies)

I'm glad you recognised that you had nothing interesting to say and stopped typing.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 22:43, closed)

So that's why
you stopped reading unless you were bored enough to read a story advertised as boing.
(Bosch balls, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 22:52, closed)

if you'd said it was "boing" I'd probably have got further.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 27 Aug 2014, 23:02, closed)

It would have been for naught,
who am I kidding, my post isn't boing.
(Bosch balls, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 6:06, closed)

"The beauty was that there was no actual offence until I left the station and was out of reach."
Isn't that a bit like a burglar saying that the beauty of his scheme is that there's no actual offence until he's broken in and stolen your telly?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 9:00, closed)

Excellent summation Lord Chief Justice.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 9:06, closed)

*removes wig*

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 9:35, closed)

g zard's cloak and hat
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 11:12, closed)

Bit difficult to prosecute pure mens rea though innit.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 10:44, closed)

I heard you "prosecute" men's rears every weekend.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 11:06, closed)

Not every weekend.
I have to PACE myself.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 11:43, closed)

Apart from the breaking and entering...
... the difference is that burglars get caught outside houses, fare dodgers don't get caught outside public transport.

Substitute "beauty" for "trait lowering the chances of getting caught".

Catchy.
(Bosch balls, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 18:07, closed)