I used to live near Paddington station, and had to travel to Heathrow on occasions
The Heathrow express was a quarter of the time compared to the tube, but was expensive. My solution to fare dodging was to sit in the toilet the whole trip and read the paper, ignoring the occasional desperate hammering. They could hold on 10 minutes to take a shit, couldn't they? This brilliant technique was moderately successful, though sometimes when the train pulled up I'd open the door to three of the conductors waiting and be forced to buy a ticket. "Sorry, I've been shitting through the eye of needle. It's been coming out like fizzy gravy", I'd say, or similar Viz-like descriptions, and they wouldn't discuss it further.
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 3:11, 3 replies)

How did you get through the ticket barrier at your destination?

( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 12:29, closed)

No barrier
At Heathrow. Or Paddington for the Express.
(Deskbound You insignificant speck of dust, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 12:55, closed)

Gah, never thought of that!
Just never clicked that the most expensive journey in the UK could be worked around like that.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Thu 28 Aug 2014, 18:17, closed)