Hot penny
While my parents were out I decided to see what happened if you heated a penny up in the gas flame of the cooker. I held the penny in some tongues and put it in the flame. It turned a nice red colour. Then brilliantly I put it down on the Formica work surface, where it made a sizzling sound and stinky fumes. I got the penny off and dropped it in water in the sink, where it fizzed cold. Now I had a nice imprint of a penny on the work top. I got some sandpaper to try to sand it out, but that just rubbed the mottled surface off the formica, exposing the white underneath, and demonstrated that the penny had sunk in a way, as the imprint didn't budge at all.

So I tried the 10-year old boy method of fixing it: I ignored it, and when my Dad asked who had burnt the image of a penny into the worktop while everyone else was out, I denied any knowledge. Didn't work. I wasn't allowed to buy my weekly Whizzer and Chips for about a month.
(Smale is stuffed, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 18:22, 4 replies)

Is, perchance, your tongue made out of asbestos?

( P-MONKE We're all fucked, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 18:25, closed)

Perhaps more worryingly, why do you have more than one?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 18:44, closed)

He never said they were his
Perhaps he's a sadistic kidnapper and torturer.
( ousgg is not seeking approval, Thu 9 Aug 2012, 19:43, closed)

the title made me think
there would be some fingering of a girl called Penny
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Fri 10 Aug 2012, 13:59, closed)