I am probably responsible for a few people's grimmest moments,
as I have seem to have an affinity with vomit. Top of this would be when I did the journey from rhyll to manchester in the boot of a vauxhall cavalier, e'd of me nut. Knew I was going to be sick, and miraculously managed to completely fill the 2 litre coke bottle in the back of the car, without making any other mess.

The look on the drivers face when he let me out and I handed him the warm bottle. Twas a picture.

HJowever, nastiest thing Ive seen was after a party in my student days. Some friends had moved into a new house (Partially frnished), and decided to have a party before they moved all of their stuff in.

The house had been sat empty for about three months.

A fine party was had, but at about 3 am, I rather badly burnt my hands picking up two beer bottles that had been sat in front of an open fire for hours.

I needed meat. Cold mince/steak is very good for soothing burns, and one of the girls who's house it was said she had turkey mince in the freezer.

Head down to the kitchen. Two fridge freezers. One left by former tennants, although I am unsure of which was which.

Now, bear in mind at this point I will have been boozing for 12 hours, had more than my fair share of pollen, and a pill or two as well. Essentailly, a happy mindset, but a fragile and unstable one.

Pick a freezer. One of those with the freezer compartment at the top. Prize the door open with my elbow.

Litres and litres of maggots pour out of the freezer compartment. It must have been full to the brim. It was like the freezer was vomiting beelzebubs children all over me. Then, this ammonia, rotting fish smell invades my poor olefactory systems.

I screamed. Like a big sissy.

The new tennants spent the next half hour sweeping maggots up, and opening the windows up. I eventually got my turkey mince, and sat in trauma, unable to roll one up to help blot the experience from my memory, due to my fantastic meat mittens.

I never open strangers freezers now.
( Dr Nick Riviera, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:34, Reply)