Spend a day with Dad
When Fathers 4 Justice was just starting out, they weren't half as near as good climbers as they are now. In fact, I believe Bob Geldof was a member, before all the buckingham palace in a spiderman suit business kicked off.

Along with Geldof, my old headmaster in primary school was a member after a bitter divorce from his wife after she was caught nobbing the deputy headmaster. He came up with a brilliant way of supporting the cause - spend a day with Dad.

Being deepest darkest Wales, my dad had two jobs. January - May he worked as a builder, but come May he worked as a turkey farmer until November.

See, I didn't mind working on the farm we owned, all the turkeys were cute chicks and a bit of feeding, bit of shovelling shit. Whilst it's not high powered, it was the backbone of Britain.

What i forgot is we never visited the farm in October, I began to find out why.

Day one began by leading the 8 year old me into the shed, and seeing all these turkeys. Dad took them, hung them upside down, and began cutting their heads off. STOP!! I screamed after teh first one, but - dad being dad - continued for half an hour later, the amount of disembembered turkey heads was piling up, but the wings were still flapping. Blood was literally pouring out of the disembembered heads, and because the turkeys don't expect it, their eyes are still open. I made eye contact with this one poor bird, the last one, it must've been aware of the horror it's fellow turkeys underwent, and as my dad decapitated his head, and when it's head came to rest by my feet, the expression will live with me forever.

"Come on", said my dad, "Let them get things out of their system", as we left the still dripping with blood, wings flapping, headless turkeys.

There must be laws about what you can subject an 9 year old child to, but oh no, not my school in the 80's. See, it's Wales, and it was largely farming at the time. Apparently it's not uncommon in a "lets make you a man" way. Gordon Ramsay did it to his children. Gordon Ramsay is a sadistic cunt.

Surprisingly, I'm not a vegetarian, and I choke down turkey ever Christmas Day, but apart from that, I can't eat turkey, it just brings back horrible memories that only new socks, ace tv and mid morning drinking in my local can mask.

Cluck - err - click "I like this" if you had a good Christmas last year.
(rhyswynne - on every social network mullarkey known to man, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 9:11, Reply)