What's the most horrific thing you've seen?What is going on?
Lightguy was walking home when he saw a fox eating a cat. As he watched, it threw up on the cat and then continued eating, having doused it in its own marinade.
Only this morning, Rachelswipe saw a tramp hock up a bright green loogy, only for a pigeon to hop over on its withered stumps and peck it up joyfully.
Are these the end times? What horrible stuff have you seen recently?
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chthonic, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 10:36)
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GlendaGlenda McSwiggins is a long-faced idiot. Sometimes as I wander through town I come across her sitting on a bench stroking her long face. I try not to look but as I stare ahead, generally watching where I'm going, I find my head being turned against my will. "Don't look at her son, she's got a proper long face" the voice in my mind warns me.
It's no use though is it? there I am - staring at the giant pineapple with eyes. The way she gently trails her fingers down her bulbous fat forehead down onto her stupid pointy cheeks, before resting a quarter of a mile south on that enormous cunting chin.
vomit builds inside of my stomach/gut/belly/Subaru and I clamp my mouth shut, but it's too late. I've sprayed the fucker. Uh-oh, everyone locally knows that Glenda McSwiggins will sit all day calmly stroking the long-face and not acknowledging a soul, unless however you vomit on her. At which point she becomes aroused and the courtship is on. It's a bit like the bit in Pan's Labyrinth when that lanky bastard only wakes up if you nick his Hula Hoops.
So there I am, being held down by old Glenda as she forcefully removes my jeans and sticks her intrusive javelin of a chin up my arse.
"Thats where I get rid of poo" I plead with her
"please leave it alone?"
To no avail, she goes at me relentlessy until she collapses in a long-faced heap. I pull up my jeans and waddle off to find sanctuary.
Do NOT vomit on Glenda McSwiggins.
(, Sat 23 Jun 2007, 14:09, Reply)
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