His wife was not amused
Sitting in the pub with my friend and his wife one night, we were all telling stories from the past. One of them didn't go down too well with his missus as she felt he was revealing 'inappropriate' details about their private life. This just encouraged him. After several more risque tales, she finally retaliated. 'Why don't don't you tell ThisCaledonianClown what you did with the sock?' At this point my mate clammed up. Frantic eye gestures towards his wife suggested that he really, really did not want her to tell me what happened with the sock. So, of course, she went straight ahead.

Apparently, she awoke one night to find him holding a sock over her face. Panicked and angry, she demanded to know what the fuck he was doing. Turns out he had decided to try an experiment on his sleeping spouse. He knew a fart was coming, so he grabbed a sock and held it over his arse to collect the gas. He then placed the sock over his wife's face ('millimetres away, there was no actual contact") to see if it would have any effect on her. It did.
( ThisCaledonianClown has left it far too late, Fri 17 Jun 2011, 19:08, Reply)