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This is a question Horrible things I've done to a loved one

You shat on her Justin Bieber poster because you adore her. She cleaned the toilet bowl with your toothbrush for the same reason. Tell us of the times true love has not been as true as it should

Suggested by Edenmonster

(, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 12:56)
Pages: Popular, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

This question is now closed.

I once had a wank over the start of a game of golf.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:13, Reply)
Johnny Vegas, Tea, and Spanking the Monkey
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:06, Reply)
My tea's that good I have to wank over it.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:05, Reply)

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:05, 3 replies)
My mum wouldn't bring my cuppa upstairs, so I had to wank into my headphones.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:04, Reply)
Me and a few mates once drove out into the country
and wanked into a reservoir. Then three days later when she was washing her face, I told her I'd just given her a homeopathic bukkake.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:59, 1 reply)
She was wearing headphones when she brought me a cup of tea,
so I wanked into my mum.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:57, Reply)
i once broke into a fertility clinick and spluffed all over the place the tea the coffee the sample jars
my god there could be hundreds of littlebunnykiller running around by now
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:57, Reply)
I once spent a fortnight
wanking into an ice-cube tray until it was full, then I put the spunky-ice in a Mr Frosty and then cranked the handle into her long island ice-tea.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:55, 1 reply)
I used to think about her when I wanked into her tea.
Now I think about tea when I'm pumping into her.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:51, 3 replies)
my gran used to drink camp coffee
so i used spluff in her teaboys arse
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:50, Reply)
I'm getting horny
so I'm off to put the kettle on, she'll be home soon.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:49, 3 replies)
I didn't let her drink tea.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:49, Reply)
I used to spunk in her tea
several times a day for about 6 months. Then I suddenly stopped. By the next day she was going cold turkey and for reasons she couldn't explain she was desperate for me to spluff in her mouth.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:48, Reply)
If I'm a wanker
Does that make you all my bitches?
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:47, Reply)
If I do a sponsored wank for charity can I call it 'Wank For Life'?

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:46, 2 replies)
If I wank in the woods and there's no-one to see it, do I still get to cum?

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:44, 1 reply)
I wank
Therefore, I am.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:43, Reply)
i wanked into the water mains in norfolk once
just so they had a more diverse genetic pool
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:41, Reply)
Then there was the time
I dried some spunk on a ceramic tile on the radiator before tipping the dry crusty remains in with the coffee grounds.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:32, Reply)
She never did find out about
when I used one of those medicine syringes to insert two wanks worth into the toothpaste tube.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:30, Reply)
That reminds me of the time when I was a student nurse and Sister caught me wanking into the medicine pots.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:21, Reply)
Oh Matron!
What a carry on.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:19, Reply)
I was late for the fair

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:18, Reply)

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:17, Reply)
I've been wanking into the milk
Just so I can use the pun 'full man-fat milk'

Then tipped it on your mum's tits, and rubbed it in and that.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:09, 4 replies)
I just wanked into the kettle to get in ahead of everyone else.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:01, 1 reply)

This question is now closed.

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