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This is a question Horrible things I've done to a loved one

You shat on her Justin Bieber poster because you adore her. She cleaned the toilet bowl with your toothbrush for the same reason. Tell us of the times true love has not been as true as it should

Suggested by Edenmonster

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 12:56)
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I once had a wank over the start of a game of golf.
/effort
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:13, Reply)
Johnny Vegas, Tea, and Spanking the Monkey
etc
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:06, Reply)
My tea's that good I have to wank over it.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:05, Reply)
Wank

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:05, 3 replies)
My mum wouldn't bring my cuppa upstairs, so I had to wank into my headphones.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:04, Reply)
Me and a few mates once drove out into the country
and wanked into a reservoir. Then three days later when she was washing her face, I told her I'd just given her a homeopathic bukkake.
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:59, 1 reply)
She was wearing headphones when she brought me a cup of tea,
so I wanked into my mum.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:57, Reply)
i once broke into a fertility clinick and spluffed all over the place the tea the coffee the sample jars
my god there could be hundreds of littlebunnykiller running around by now
(I helped save b3ta! fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:57, Reply)
I once spent a fortnight
wanking into an ice-cube tray until it was full, then I put the spunky-ice in a Mr Frosty and then cranked the handle into her long island ice-tea.
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:55, 1 reply)
I used to think about her when I wanked into her tea.
Now I think about tea when I'm pumping into her.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:51, 3 replies)
my gran used to drink camp coffee
so i used spluff in her teaboys arse
(I helped save b3ta! fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:50, Reply)
I'm getting horny
so I'm off to put the kettle on, she'll be home soon.
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:49, 3 replies)
I didn't let her drink tea.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:49, Reply)
I used to spunk in her tea
several times a day for about 6 months. Then I suddenly stopped. By the next day she was going cold turkey and for reasons she couldn't explain she was desperate for me to spluff in her mouth.
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:48, Reply)
If I'm a wanker
Does that make you all my bitches?
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:47, Reply)
If I do a sponsored wank for charity can I call it 'Wank For Life'?

(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:46, 2 replies)
If I wank in the woods and there's no-one to see it, do I still get to cum?

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:44, 1 reply)
I wank
Therefore, I am.
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:43, Reply)
i wanked into the water mains in norfolk once
just so they had a more diverse genetic pool
(I helped save b3ta! fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:41, Reply)
Then there was the time
I dried some spunk on a ceramic tile on the radiator before tipping the dry crusty remains in with the coffee grounds.
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:32, Reply)
She never did find out about
when I used one of those medicine syringes to insert two wanks worth into the toothpaste tube.
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:30, Reply)
That reminds me of the time when I was a student nurse and Sister caught me wanking into the medicine pots.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:21, Reply)
Oh Matron!
What a carry on.
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:19, Reply)
I was late for the fair

(McChinaman banned, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:18, Reply)
First!

(username failed moderation, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:17, Reply)
I've been wanking into the milk
Just so I can use the pun 'full man-fat milk'

Then tipped it on your mum's tits, and rubbed it in and that.
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:09, 4 replies)
I just wanked into the kettle to get in ahead of everyone else.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 14:01, 1 reply)

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