I didn't
move out of my parents home until I was about 23, my sister on the other hand moved out when she was about 16 (to go and live in an Austin Maxi 1750 with her, somewhat insane boyfriend - but that's for another QotW).

Some years before this, as teenagers, we lived in Australia. My sister had a friend called Kayleigh, who was a petite little thing and barring the God awful accent, was actually quite a nice girl.
Back to the present and my sister is now getting married - thankfully NOT to the aforementioned psychotic idiot, and as a polite thing to do sent an invitation to Kayleigh back in Australia. They hadn't seen each other for around 12 years at this point, and so it was thought to be more of a formality than anything else.
That was until, I got a phone call asking if it was ok that Kayleigh come and stay with us, hidden, until the day of the wedding. She'd caught me unawares, it being her Saturday morning and our Friday night, I was quite pissed, and thought "What a great idea!". It wasn't.
A few month later, this frail and petite little Australian girl arrived on our doorstep, only she wasn't frail and petite any longer - she'd put that bloke that Jerry Springer 'saved' to shame. She had to turn sideways to get in and out of doors, and in fact, when she went with my mum to the greenhouse, we had to take out the door so she could fit through the frame. Anyway...no great shakes, we've all put a bit of weight on over the years. She had obviously got used to surprised looks on peoples faces and offered, without anyone saying anything "Oh, my weight? Yes, I have a glandular disease."
No. No she didn't, and hasn't.
I have never to this day seen anyone consume as much food and drink as this woman. We'd have a glass of orange in the morning, she'd have three cartons. Fancy a bacon sandwich - no hope, despite the fact that that morning you'd have just bought a 5 pack jumbo deal. It was incredible.
One morning, I dragged myself from my pit and into the kitchen just in time to see her kick our 16 year old cat across the room. I asked "What d'you do that for?". "He bit me!" was her reply. I'd had that cat 16 years, not once did he even so much as raise his hand to me. Although, given that she may have been at his cat food as she'd eaten everything else, I suppose anything was possible.

It all came to a head, the day after the wedding when she did a similar thing to my 1 year old nephew. After that episode, and being caught doing so by both my mum and dad, she had to pay extra to change her flight to an earlier one.

Thank Christ.
(dchurch bah, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 18:08, 4 replies)

Nice....
'spesh like the bit about the cat with human hands
( industrial_bunny, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 13:43, closed)

Oddly enough...
...he was a type of cat called a 'marsh cat' with an extra toe on each foot. When he (and his sister - we had both) were kittens, they would regularly walk about on their hind legs, like humans. Funny as fuck. It was only when they were a little older and saw other cats that they realised they had to walk on all fours.
(dchurch bah, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 18:02, closed)

Sheesh!
If my in-laws saw someone do anything like that to my 1 year old, McGrampa would take their fucking head off.
( SauronWibble I'll hold it, you lick it..., Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:53, closed)

"Although, given that she may have been at his cat food as she'd eaten everything else..."
that had me lolling like a good 'un :-D
( NotDavidBailey isn't all that sure that he is?, Sat 8 Jan 2011, 21:55, closed)