The transmogrification of Henra
Back in uni I lived in the smokers house and a fellow student called Henry would often pop round for a smoke. We called him Henra as after one spliff he would steal your soul by talking to you about things you really weren't interested in (like football). Yes we all talk crap when we smoke but Henra was not a conversationalist, you would not be able to get a word in... for hours. He would just blabber on and on at you.

One evening we were sat around smoking, when Henra popped in. He had been in the pub watching soccer (as I like to call it to piss him off). He'd had a skin full of Stella and blubbered on as he was passed a joint. We were watching a compilation of skating fails that were particularly nasty. Henra had been quiet for about 5mins (a record), he mumbled something and I looked over. He was distinctly green looking, and said "turn it over... please". We saw his pain and laughed, "it's freaking me out, turn it off please". We refused. Suddenly, quick as a flash he ran out of the room.

It was a little while later that our housemate Nellogs said "oh man, can you smell that?". As he said it the most god awful poo smell drifted into the room. I got up to investigate, (our living-room was on the first floor) at the top of the stairs the smell was horrific, and this is where the poo trail started. Down the stairs it led to the to toilet, which was covered in poo - on the walls, the floor, everywhere and my god the smell. The front-door was left a jar and there was no sign of Henra.

Back upstairs I explained my findings "basically Henra has come round, smoked a joint, freaked out, shat himself and left". Hilarious.
Then the most unbelievable thing happened. Just as we were arguing over who was going to clear up the mess the door bell went. It was Henra. He came in smiling. Sitting down in the front-room we interrogated him. He denied having just been around, shitting himself and leaving. He denied the whole thing. It was at that point that Flash pointed out he was wearing different trousers. From that day on we named him Shitra. And to this day he denies and believes his own bullshit that it didn't happen.
(Riggleberry, Sat 8 Jan 2011, 14:32, 4 replies)

Clickworthy on the basis of transmogrification alone.
(anvil, Sat 8 Jan 2011, 15:23, closed)

Um
Why does weird shit always happen in the UK? How did the shit get on the walls? I'm I being had?

I would've killed him. With a spatula.
(lemonadegame, Sat 8 Jan 2011, 17:12, closed)

depends
on the viscosity, stickiness, aim and velocity of the excrement. If you're already "leaking" while trying to remove your trousers, it can spray out and bounce off of your trousers/underwear/toilet seat.
( schizophrenic_sheep, Sat 8 Jan 2011, 18:38, closed)

heheh
There's speaks someone with experience
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:37, closed)