the dealer
we had an acquaintance back in reading who was for a long while, the man you spoke to for illicit sundries and a bit of smoke. he would come round to our house, which having as it did some six bedrooms plus sundry guests, all people who liked to party, was always a source of reasonable size orders. at first, he came when asked. then, he came when he had stock to give us first dibs. he was nice enough, a bit mashed, not the sharpest peanut in the turd, and somewhat defcient in the personal hygeine stakes.
so one time when he came round unannounced, and asked if he could grab a shower before getting back to his wife (not ALL his female clients paid cash, which in itself was a mind boggling horror) we were actually quite happy to loan him an old towel and a turn in the bathroom.
then it happened again
and again
then he started coming round to say hi, count and bag up his wares into smaller portions.. this would have met with more firm refusal if it weren't for the fact the leftovers, pill dust/fragments, weed that didn't mke a full draw etc got consumed (mostly by me, i was the only student so in during the days a lot more)
then he brought his 5yr old ADHD whirlwind son round
then he did the same but left him with us for a few hours.
the last straw was the time he came round the night before a major handin, a weeknight. sold us 30 odd pills, and then realising he'd sold his stash, proceeded to buy ten back at a significantly increased rate and promptly took the fucking lot in one mouthful, and went 'SHIT! i only meant to eat three! i wasn't concentrating!
after five hours of him half-naked on the couch, howling like a banshee, with his bare feet hanging out of the window waving at passers by, pounding on the floor like a man posessed and sweating like a rapist, i came through from the other room a shouted at him to shut the fuck up or leave. his response was poetic. he rose to his feet with a beatific smile, lurched towards me, lurched away again, looked bewildered, then pissed himself with great gusto, fell backwards over the couch, and slept soundly for about 12 hours. i woke to find him in the kitchen naked rinsing his trousers in the washing up bowl.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Sun 9 Jan 2011, 15:24, 3 replies)

Ha!

Don't do drugs kids!
( Turquoise Hexagon Sun has just dropped acid on, Sun 9 Jan 2011, 20:20, closed)

Oh, this is beautiful
"Shit, I only meant to take 3!" How do people get this fucked up?

*clicky*
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Sun 9 Jan 2011, 22:52, closed)

Drugs are bad, mmkay?

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Mon 10 Jan 2011, 20:08, closed)