It started when she moved into our shed!
But us being the kind hearted, easily amused idiots that we are, we let her sleep on our sofa, well it was March and outside it was cold and horrible. I expressed concern to the wife, especially given that we had enough mouths to feed and were hardly bringing home a big wage packet. The biggest problem was that she was obviously preggers, but did that stop her sleeping around still? Not a bit of it. I think that she would have continued shagging until birth had she been able to and we had no idea of who the father or fathers were! We called her Lilly, but did not know her real name.

One afternoon, I came home from work and found her in a bit of a mood on the sofa, she would get up and pace up and down and the lay down on the sofa again, whining and moaning. Then she just popped one out, a little black baby, quickly followed by another!

I have never seen anything like it, I did not know what to do and cutting a cord worried me sick in case infection got in. Being a bit of a first aid appointed person though, I made sure that all went well and finally the babies lay there while she dozed and breast fed them. I made sure that she was looked after, she was exhausted after the birth and could barely lift her head. I now understand why they put towels down, our carpet looked like a murder had taken place!

When the wife came home she was stunned and took some photos, the flash going off got a bit much and Lilly started to complain, so wifey put the camera away and we made sure that there was plenty of food and drink for a completely exhausted first time mother. What we should have done was phoned some one and asked for advice or help, having her rehomed should have been a priority, but we kind of felt for her, her family had kicked her out and did not want her back, we know because when we asked them. They told us that she was dead!

Another issue that came with her was fleas, gross but there you go, sadly she gave us fleas and the new borns fleas too. This was getting too much. The new borns were shitting everywhere, they had fleas too and Lilly refused to use the flea stuff we bought. She got quite vocal and aggressive about it. In the end we had to make a stand and she got so cross that she stormed out, leaving us to look after the babies. I did not mind at first, but after half an hour I started to worry. Luckily a friend of ours had given us some powdered milk and so I had to mix it and then bottle feed them.

Lilly finally came back after about six hours and grudgingly submitted to being treated for the fleas. We cleaned her up and despite still carrying a little weight, she was actually quite beautiful. We finally managed to get her a new place to live and her kids were eventually adopted, one of them went to a friend of ours who was quite lonely and needed something to love, she did rename him though, she was not keen on the name I had chosen for him, Lucifer, so to this day he is called Smidge!

Lilly lives with some of our friends just down the road, they pretty much wait on her, but don't seem to mind, I think that they just enjoy the company that she brings, especially since losing their last cat. Helping her while she gave birth to five kittens was one of the real highlights of my life and they were adorable. Lilly though never really settled, I think that she had been treated quite badly by her previous family and she was very nervous and jumpy. However, I got the strong impression that she trusted me with her kittens, especially when she dumped them in my lap one day before she went out.
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 12:06, 6 replies)

It was a cat

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 12:55, closed)

I'd
be worried if it wasn't....haha

Edit - worth a click
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 14:07, closed)

wait what
click
(Archeleus hates cabbage, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 16:09, closed)

Arrgh, here I was thinking it was a dog until the last paragraph.
(Avnas dosh!, Tue 11 Jan 2011, 1:12, closed)

You go all the way through thinking 'what a poorly thought-out attempt to make a dog sound like a person'. Then you feel manipulated.
( Rookie You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:24, closed)

Tsk tsk
Saw it coming a mile off.
(TheWonderfulWombat It came to me in a dream., Tue 11 Jan 2011, 16:24, closed)