Talk, then leave
Agreeing to go into it on a no-strings basis isn't some emotional vaccination against developing relationshippy type feelings for her later. She should understand this and if she doesn't then you're better off out of it.

As her lodger, you owe her nothing (except perhaps a month's notice). As a friend she should respect your right to protect your own feelings. It sounds like you're going to be unhappy staying or leaving but if you leave it will be temporary unhappiness. So talk to her and ask whether being good friends and enjoying sleeping together isn't a decent basis for a relationship. If it's not enough for her then get out.

Ultimately, wanting to avoid hurting her feelings is a rubbish reason to stay. Also, if she does know that you want a proper relationship with her, your hanging around in the hope of getting that is hardly the most attractive thing you can do. Try to maintain some dignity (I've failed to do this in the past and seriously regretted it). Get out, get on with your life and maybe she'll miss you enough for things to change. Maybe not, but at least you'll be on the way to things new and less hurtful.
(flimflam_machine, Wed 12 Jan 2011, 11:32, Reply)