Penfold the Greek
Returning to the 2nd year at Uni we felt like the Kings of our little world as the new first years stumbled meekly into a world we had learnt to manipulate over the last year from our own meek beginnings....

Except this year had a profound difference... the university (a small close community of 2000 mostly stay at home students, so only 300 or so of us living on site) had somehow recruited about 50 international students... from Greece.

At the risk of offending, these unclean, unshaven, uneducated and uncommunicative throwbacks turned up bringing with them a certain pungent odour. Along with a complete lack of English language or ettiquette.

Luckily my flat got by unscathed, but my mate next door had one of the Greeks move into his flat.

If you decided to make a feature film of Danger Mouse then this chap would have played Penfold. The glasses, the eyebrows, the cheap blue suit were all spot on.

Sadly however the language barrier was to present a problem. My mate was sat in the pub telling us about an eventful situation. It seems cleanliness was not one of the ancient Greek traditions and among many nasty habits the one that caught my mate out was this. There he was, sat on the throne doing the daily ritual when he spies a small pile of neatly folded bog paper sitting on the boxed in pipework next to the loo. Curious as to why it was there he picked a bit up... to find it encrusted with shit. In fact the whole pile was like the working manuscript to an illustrative book about crap. He asked the others about it and they decided to ask Penfold about it. Turns out Penfold was baffled by the lack of sanitary bin in which to put used bog paper just as much as they were baffled as to why he didn't flush it.

The weeks went by and the flat took on an odour that even the dirtiest student might question. The penny dropped when Penfold decided to ask for help.

You'd probably assume that after a week, perhaps even a fortnight, all students work out the washing machine. There was one in every flat so it didn't even require tracking down the launderette. 8 weeks into the term and Penfold arrives in the kitchen clutching a box and a bag of laundry. He fills the machine, then asks in very broken English: "How many this?"
OK, so he needs to know how much detergent to use?
We look at the box he's holding. "Calgon. Limescale treatment".
"Two" we reply....


We figure even with just a rinse they'll smell better and at least they'll be free from limescale.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 16:47, 8 replies)

Ha ha, mmmmm
Yes, the greek plumbing-systems were installed by the lowers bidder, everybody was saving money installing smaller diametre pipes than the law stated they should, thus the charming pedal-bin filled with crap in most greek toilets. As for the washing, most greek boys are so spoiled by their parents, many of them have no idea about practical issues such as cleaning up after themselves, or laundry. Now, I have a few Greek friends, as I lived in Greece for about 10 years, and it's not something they deny.
(Lump, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 16:55, closed)

The Greek sanitary system wasn't designed for anything other than bodily waste
So they put tissue in bins by the toilet, it's not his fault he didn't know it was different here, I'm sure someone could have explained it somehow.
( Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 16:55, closed)

You say that....
... but YOU know that about the Greek plumbing system, presumeably without having gone to live in Greece?

Perhaps it's just me but if I was going to live in a foreign country, I'd learn a bit about the place before I went. Or at least ask my fellow country men after a day or so why this country didn't have the traditional nasty bins.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 16:59, closed)

I only know because I went on holiday there
and we were told at every turn not to flush loo roll, and while we were there the hotel STILL got flooded with sewerage because some visitors just couldn't get their head around it.
( Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 17:06, closed)

I
saw a documentary on life in other countries; in Khazakstan they poo in a small bag it appears...
(kitescreech still here, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 19:10, closed)

there were greeks on my course
they smelt of ouzo, and they vibrated, shaking all the desks.

I can only assume this is from the diet of feta and ouzo.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 17:05, closed)

Oh God, Ouzo
I loved that stuff.

My mum still maintains that she didn't know it was 'that' alcoholic, but the fact remains that we got sozzled on the stuff just about every night we were there!

...probably just a ploy to get us to go to bed early so she could go meet up with the brother of the hotel owner ;)
( Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 17:08, closed)

Ouzo!
I recall the Greeks decided to organise a night at the student union and put up posters advertising the night complete with "FREE DRINKS!".

You can imagine the reaction of 300 students discovering that "free drinks" meant 1 bottle of Ouzo....
....half empty.....
....on a table with 8 big greek lads....
....who obviously didn't want to share.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 17:08, closed)