A tale of general anal retentiveness, lock picking and ill-advised accessories worn at a bakery
I moved to Macclesfield for a 12 month student job placement as part of my Computing degree a few years ago and it was the first time I'd lived away from home. 'Oh what freedom', I thought, I can finally do whatever I want at whatever I time I want (although thinking about it - I didn't do a fat lot different except learn to rollerskate)!

I lived in a house with 7 other people, and people living there tended to be just passing through, with the exception of one chap called Alastair in his 40's - he'd been living there for a long time... probably about a decade.

He was very anal retentive about people doing their washing up and putting it away ASAP, stuff like that never bothered me too much because I like things neat and tidy myself and I figured he'd probably gotten fed up of the varying standards of hygiene among the many different people he must have shared the house with over the years. But he was a bit of an odd duck... there was no lounge so the only communal area was the kitchen and he had this knack of knowing when someone was in there (no matter how quietly you crept down the stairs), this hadn't gone unnoticed by the other housemates who gradually became convinced Alastair had the place bugged.

He used to cook 1 chicken every day for the local cats in the area.

I guess he was just a bit of a lonely bloke and it was hard not to feel sorry for him, but then I got back one Sunday night after popping back home for the weekend and Alastair soon accosted me and said that I should turn my alarm clock off if I am going away for the weekend. I usually remembered to do that, doh!

Anyway, I went into my room and found that my alarm wasn't going off and had been reset by somebody, I phoned the landlord who said that they hadn't been into my locked bedroom as they would have billed me for it.

I mentioned this to a girl who lived in the house who told me that Alastair has a collection of hundreds of Yale keys. The bloke must have been trying bloody hundreds of different Yale keys to get into my room and turn my alarm off.

I had the lock on my door changed shortly afterward.

At the end of the year Alastair said he was sad to see me go as I hadn't caused any problems in the house etc and he gave me a wolves pin badge from about 1980 - 'Awww thats quite nice of him, maybe he's just a bit of a loveable old kook afterall' I thought, at which point he went back into his room and came back out wearing a red Nazi armband and started talking about how he collects war memorabilia, unfortunately one day he went out shopping and forgot he was wearing it and it 'caused a bit of a stir down the bakers'.

I collected the remaining stuff I had in the house, got in the car and made a quick getaway.
(nashie, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 15:45, 4 replies)

I like the way you told that story
it almost sounds like you make a real connection between Wolverhampton Wanderers and being a Neo Nazi. I'm not sure why.

"I moved to Macclesfield" was the main mistake you made though.
(Pat_Gash, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 15:49, closed)

Excellent tale, thank you
'caused a bit of a stir down the bakers' - inspired.

*clique*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 15:50, closed)

I like this too...

reminds me of the Father Ted Nazi episode...

classic.

*mucho clickage*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 27 Feb 2009, 16:02, closed)

Ah Macclesfield!
The only good thing about it is that there are two b3tans there!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 3 Mar 2009, 13:45, closed)