Not so much the housemates but the landlord
So I ended up lodging in wonderful Reading about 15 years ago, nice house, other lodger that was rarely seen - an Ethiopian studying meteorology at the Uni, though I don't know how he needed a degree to say "It's going to be hot". But I digress. The landlord we shall call "Andy", because that's what we all called him and how his letters were addressed. A chubby gay bloke from Huddersfield, but nice enough. All started well, but after a few months, things startd getting a little more relaxed, him leaving his copy of "Down and Brown" in the video for example, and asking a friend of ours who was round for a few beers if he could quicly slip one up his arse. Things started taking a downward turn though, when I started noticing an odd smell in my drinking glasses. Then, I noticied it. Dried cum in the glass - BASTARD! So I started washing all my glases, plates, knives, forks etc in stupidly hot water *before* I used them. Then he sarted getting piss drunk every night falling asleep in his chair, and pissing it.

Yes, *every* night. The fucking thing was rotting and the house stunk of piss. Which is when I started looking for somewhere else.

The crowning achievment though was hearing a noise one night, ignoring it and going back to sleep, then coming down in the morning and finding the place looking like a bomb had hit it. I had a quick tidy up then fucked off to work. I came home in the evening and fuond Andy in the pissy chair, with his now broken arm in a sling. "I slipped over in the kitchen going to the bog last night" he say, with a nervous laugh. Fair enough, lino floor etc. Except when I was sweeping/mopping the following day. Little brown skate marks on the floor. The dirty bastard must have been covered in his own shit after playing with it, come downstairs for a shower, and lost his grip on the lino.

Mind you, my parting gift the day before I left was a load of rabbit guts in the kitchen bin from a bunny I caught a couple of days before.

If you're reading this Andy, I've got the money I owe for the telephone bill waiting for you to come and collect it.

Length? Fuck off.
(nobbyd is wanking furiously to industrial grade porn on, Tue 3 Mar 2009, 16:31, 2 replies)

I chuckled
"an Ethiopian studying meteorology at the Uni, though I don't know how he needed a degree to say "It's going to be hot". "
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 10:43, closed)

best length
joke ever
( Sextant goes to him is emotionally erect, on this day, Wed 4 Mar 2009, 13:08, closed)