Almost on topic - neighbours, housemates, potato tomato
Years ago I had a client who came to see me because of a neighbour problem. He and his wife lived in a 3 bed semi, where the third room was a tiny box. Their neighbour had moved out and let his house to a rather large family. 17 of them, to be precise (I had to take his word for this, he wasn't paying me to go and count). He said that the noise was unbelievable, not helped by 4 of the teenage boys sleeping in a tent in the garden, and loud singing that started at 4am.

When they complained politely about the last part, and asked if it could be done a bit later in the morning, the father simply said, "children must pray," and closed the door. There were many complaints in a similar vein and I'm sure the family would have had plenty to say about their neighbours too, but one thing stood out as being possibly the hardest I have had to try not to laugh, even though I did sympathise, it just sounded so funny...

The wife was not a small lady. Especially in the hind quarters region. You know, one of those ladies whose bottom half seems to be moving in a different direction to the top. Apparently one day she was weeding in the garden, and some of the children started chucking things at her bottom. Turned out to be fence posts, which they had pulled up. When the husband went over to complain, they told him that they were "hunting hippopotamus".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 8:50, 2 replies)

If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find her, maybe you can hire rachelswipe.
I can't see this pilot being picked up for a full series.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 9:32, closed)

But it comes with a free fork...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 9:34, closed)