An actual real life event that really happened
When i was 18 years old and living in a little backward inbred town called Runcorn, imagine the Truman Show but with Jeremy Kyle as the main character. Myself and a few close knit friends would go out every weekend to one of the various dives.

At the end of the night about 2:00am if we had not managed to pull an extra from the Dark Crystal we would all pile back to my mates house, this house was an empty shell essentially. One sofa, white goods in the kitchen, shit stereo system couple of beds upstairs. It was his mum and dads house that they had not lived in for years as they now owned and ran a pub in the same town.

After doing this for weeks and weeks someone had the great drunken idea to just ask this lads mum and dad if three of us could move in, we were all working and earning and it seemed like a great idea. never in a million years did i think that they would say yes...they did.

In a day or two we were moved in, crap sofas acquired from here there and everywhere, beds built and moved in TV acquired, better stero system, table and chairs...home.

Why did i think that anything would change from the nights we used to pile back there maybe 10 - 15 of us at a time.

Some of the highlights (lowlights)

1. Coming home from work to find 7 people passed out in the living room with various items on fire in the kitchen.

2. Getting tonsilitis (severe as well) during the European Cup and my house mate deciding to throw a house party while I was dying upstairs - it went on for almost 24 hours.

3. Two brothers coming around, one on the run from the Police, turned up in mid March was still there in July and would not leave the house. Not until his older brother turned up (who i believe is a jockey now) and stabbed him in the face with a free standing lamp, removing his eyeball from his face.

But possibly the best was when I wasn't a great housemate.

Out of the three of us living there, one was a right lazy fucker. The guy whos mum and dad owned the house. He used to take his clothes every weekend in bin bags to the pub to get them washed and ironed and then he would bring them back in the same bin bags.

One night after copious amounts of mind bendingly good dope the lazy fucker was supposed to be on bin duty. Quite a lot of rubbish had been accumulating in the kitchen for a couple of weeks...(i know i know) after asking him serveral times to sort it out he didnt he just fucked off to his stinking hole of a room to masturbate to pictures of Slash. When we realised he wasnt going to come and sort it out, we went and sorted it out, took all the bin bags out to the bin in the garden. Put the wheely bin and numerous black sacks outside the gate to be taken away.

Cut to waking up to banging on my bedroom door the next morning "WHERE ARE MY FUCKING CLOTHES!!?? I NEED MY CLOTHES YOU CUNTS WHERE ARE THEY BLAH BLAH BLAH"

I asked politley where he had left them...I guess you know where.

And guess what it was actually bin day...and in them days the bin men were early.

We had thrown out pretty much everything he owned, three big bags of clothes (posh stuff too).

Needless to say that brought to a close that tenancy agreement.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 11:53, 3 replies)

I hate you spanishfly.
I really, really hate you and I hope you die.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 11:59, closed)

replies to win and all that.

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 13 Mar 2015, 12:10, closed)

You get a click for "...pull an extra from The Dark Crystal"

(Porcupine, Mon 16 Mar 2015, 13:02, closed)