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This is a question Housemates From Hell III

I once had a flatmate who was so lazy he had a fungus growing in a cup in his bedroom - it was white and whispy so he nicknamed it "Albert". Tell us your tale of living with the disturbed, the odd, the fragile and the downright filthy.

(, Thu 12 Mar 2015, 17:40)
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Greasy John
Filthy fucking West Australian hippy backpacker.

Slept on a fucking yoga mat.

Never bathed. Ever, as a "point of pride". He fucking smelled bad, real bad. Proud to be confrontationally filthy.

Lived in a fucking stupid oversized big heavy army surplus overcoat. (this is in Australia, mind).

He sweated a lot. A real lot. He smelled really, really bad. Lank greasy hair, long fingernails. A dirty, dirty fucking human.

Everything he owned was stored in a large black plastic garbage bag, beside his stupid fucking yoga mat. Nothing was ever washed.

Defined himself as an intellectual, a thinker, a ladies man, a free spirit in a polluted world. A refined, foppish, delivery of speech. Never had a job for the entire time he lived with us. Never pulled a single chick. Had green teeth.

Would phone his Mum for more money when he'd pissed the last of his coin up against the wall, and rent was due.

Haggled over power bills, phone bills, food, smokes, piss and any other vaguely shared expense.

Invited every fucking deadshit loser back to our house after last drinks at the pub, thereby briefly introducing a teenage junkie prostitute and the obligatory accompanying ultra violent cunt with facial tattoos called "Craigie" into our Living room, whereby they stayed for some days.

I had a big party, lots of people came, everyone witnessed his filth and his deluded worldly airs.

At the height of the party, we flung his black plastic garbage bag into the raging fireplace and prodded him with a broom, down the hallway, out into the cool evening air, slamming the door as he made to return into the house.

Never heard from him, or saw him ever again.

Greasy John. Filthy useless cunt.
(, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 13:39, 7 replies)
This is terrible bullying of R*b F*irholme now he's been permabanned and hasn't got right of reply.

(, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 14:07, closed)
I wish I could be as hilarious and edgy as you

(, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 15:52, closed)
So do we.

(, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 16:15, closed)
This zing deserves some recognition.

(, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 16:41, closed)

(, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 16:55, closed)
Your not being upset about this
is bound to upset a few people.
(, Thu 19 Mar 2015, 0:03, closed)
I've missed you, Ken Oath

(, Wed 18 Mar 2015, 20:38, closed)

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