Born-again virgins.
My first roommate in college was of the Extreme God-Bothering type. Born and raised a Baptist, my heathen ways raised many eyebrows. I had a serious boyfriend, though, but owing to some creepy atheist morality thing, I hadn’t slept with him. Hey, I was getting around to it. Eventually.

Then she discovered alcohol. If she had a drink, she was unable to keep her fanny in her pocket. I had many nights shut out of my room or, worse yet, pretending to sleep while she took it vigorously from behind mere feet from my face. The sex spores, they got everywhere. Actually, most disturbing were the white splodges which appeared throughout the room.

Eventually the guilt became too much and she became a born-again virgin. The ceremony lasted about 15 seconds and took place in the basement of the college chapel. Fine, I thought, great, at least I can get some sleep now.

The next week was filled with every one of my sins being pointed out to me. I swore, I had touched a penis…I was smote, and I was smoten right and proper. I was all sorts of smote to hell. I couldn’t bloody stand the hourly Bible lessons, I was beginning the like the previous slutty incarnation much, much more.

Thursday rolled around and I had a blinding headache, the sort that makes the contents of your tum-tum shoot out your face. I stayed in my room while my roommate went down to see my boyfriend and give him the terrible news. My headache improved and my roommate hadn’t returned, so I meandered to his room and wandered in as usual…

…and you’ve got to be fairly stupid to not know how this story ends. This story ends with my roommate riding my boyfriend bareback. My Godly, pious, judgmental roommate having unprotected cowgirl sex with my serious boyfriend.

Her response wasn’t an apology, but more the statement that God said that a woman should please her man with her vagina. Oh good.

Needless to say, we didn’t remain friends or roommates for long. She became a born-again virgin yet again and kept herself ‘pure’ for her future husband. She met him a matter of months later and their first daughter was born 5 months after their wedding date.

I did not send flowers.
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 16:15, 7 replies)

fuck, that sucks
you should have cunted them both in the fuck right there and then
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 16:38, closed)

That would have been...
a sin.
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 16:51, closed)

seems to me
judging from this and your other post, that sin only applies to other people.

must be nice to know that no matter how much of an utter fucking cunt you are that as long as you make out that you are sufficiently sorry at some point before you die then everything is fine.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 17:05, closed)

People wonder...
...where I, as an atheist, get my morality.

My actions are based upon people's reaction in the NOW, not whether or not I can be forgiven on my deathbed.

I don't want to negatively impinge on another person's life, but yet that makes me 'evil'.
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 17:08, closed)

it's shocking isn't it
I can't imagine what living in that sort of situation must be like. I've only had mild disapproval of my activities, never someone outspokenly putting me down because of it, or my beliefs
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 17:15, closed)

B3TA 5:39
"But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall cunt thee in thy right fuck, turn to him the other also."

See, you'd basically be giving her an excuse to be a good Christian, so it's fine.
(Ellinikos contains a source of phenylalanine, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 20:28, closed)

He can't have been that serious
If he shagged your roommate.



...on an unrelated note, is he single these days? He sounds a right goer.
(Helixdaunting, Mon 23 Feb 2009, 22:34, closed)