Some Classics
On London Underground:
Old Woman1: "I don't know what to get husband's name for his birthday."
Old Woman2: "Why don't you get him a book?"
Old Woman1: "Nah, he's already got a book."

My friend, his girlfriend and myself were in his car when there was a power failure. All the street lights when out, and all the houses around were dark. She said, "Oh no, you won't be able to start your car!" He told her it would start just fine, and then she said, "But your headlights won't work! You won't be able to see where you're going!"

At an art supply store in Canada with the missus, we heard this gem:
Customer: "Can you please cut some canvas for me?"
Assistant: "Certainly, what width?"
Customer: (confused and slightly annoyed) "Scissors?"

While in Florida I asked an American couple to take a picture of me standing next to the plastic 'Jaws' shark. They said no as they only had one picture left and wanted to take it of them with Minnie Mouse.

While talking about some website one day i said to a co-worker she should join so they can post on the boards. She asked for the address, which i gave her. She hesitated then asked for the post code.

Whilst talking about the y2k bug back in 1999 my friend asked why couldn't they just do what they did in 0999.

i have more but i will spare you all for now.
( MagicallyInept Bored Sig., Mon 10 Jan 2005, 14:06, Reply)