Basildon, home of a thousand fuckwits
Two pleasant old ladies in a charity shop, happily conversing:

Old Lady 1: My oldest's taken up that Reiki
Old Lady 2: Ooh, Reiki! That's where they don't believe in God, isn't it?

I discreetly wandered away, smirking.

Another (different) shop lady, when confronted with a necklace with a charm in the shape of a slightly suspect leaf:

Oh, look, an oak leaf!

A new one from today, no less- an old couple discussing what one of their children had done on their holiday:

Old Lady: They had a lovely time, she said she went huskie-riding, and...

Huskie riding? Poor things!

Working where I work, I spend a lot of time selling alcohol and drink paraphenalia to... well, to idiots, really. And every weekend in the summer, we still get this one at least twice:

Customer: Do you sell ice?
Assisstant: Yes.
*pause*
Customer: Where is it?
Assisstant: *hits head repeatedly against till*

No apologies for length, in my part of the world it's something treated with respect.
(underachiever, Tue 11 Jan 2005, 19:20, Reply)