Hmm, 3 come to mind.
1) Firstly, getting convinced to see if toothpaste gaves masturbation an even nicer feeling. It doesn't. First it feels cold, very cold. They it itches a litt,e and then it burns like hell when Satan doesn't have to worry about the heating bill so turns the thermostat up to ultra-heat. Even after a thorough cleaning it took nearly 45 minutes before I could do the deed. :(

2) If anyone has a playful cat, you'll know that it can be dangerous to move your feet too much when you're in bed, as the cat thinks that you're playing, and they don't hold back. Teeth and claws, combined with feet is not very pleasant. And so you can probably understand that teeth, claws, and an erect penis is pretty painful too.

I got him castrated a few weeks after though. That taught the bastard.

3) This is the most painful, and the most embarrassing of my three, without a doubt.

I was about 15. A virgin, and in the state of constant arousal. And I saw a "DIY vagina". Seriously. It was two peices of plastic that you put together and filled with water, and then put it in the freezer. It looked pretty tempting. And I tried to...*wink* *nudge*...you know.

Prolonged contact between ice and skin leads to them being fused together. So what's the worst thing to do? Try to just use force to pull it apart, ripping skin off my sex-tool.

Warm water finally detached the ice vagina from my penis, but it could never cleanse it from my memory. :(
(Darrage, Fri 14 Jul 2006, 0:24, Reply)