I hurt my rude bitsSpent all day with a sore bum, went to the loo to check it out and found blood in my pants. Not good. Piles? Checked in the shower and pulled a staple from my arse. Serves me right for leaving an old pencil case in my underwear drawer. BTW: On relating this story to a friend they said, "some people will do anything for a prick up their bottom."
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rob, Thu 13 Jul 2006, 22:00)
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Inner SpaceWhen stationed in the far East (Hong Kong) I started to notice that every time I curled one out the water in the loo was bright red and when I flushed it looked like that scene from the Shining when the lift doors open. I headed to the doctor who referred me to an eminent local proctologist. After a poke around with his lubed up fingers he decided that a full-on colonoscopy was in order. A few days later I was lying on my side, having been completely flushed out by laxatives and sedated, in hospital while a mini-camcorder probed my insides. You haven't lived until a Chinese doctor has shoved a camera up your arse, I can tell you.
On the plus side he gave me the video, which is guaranteed to break the ice at parties.
(, Fri 14 Jul 2006, 8:18, Reply)
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