I hurt my rude bitsSpent all day with a sore bum, went to the loo to check it out and found blood in my pants. Not good. Piles? Checked in the shower and pulled a staple from my arse. Serves me right for leaving an old pencil case in my underwear drawer. BTW: On relating this story to a friend they said, "some people will do anything for a prick up their bottom."
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rob, Thu 13 Jul 2006, 22:00)
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So I was about 9 or 10 and in the Browniesand I wanted to get my Athlete's Badge.
To do this you had to do a couple of pansy stunts like basically run without falling over.
The bit I had trouble with was 'high jump over a 90cm bar'. For some reason (probably because I have no co-ordination) I couldn't get my head round the scissor kick aspect of the jump.
My Mum decided to help by balancing a wooden broom on two garden chairs, at about the right height, and sent me out into the garden to practise.
Off I go: one leg in the air and over the bar. Other leg refuses to leave the ground. I go down rather heavily (I wasn't a small girl) right on top of the bar. It fucking hurt. I landed so hard I actually broke the broom in two.
Now, we ladies don't have the dangly bits, but a good hard (excuse the pun) twatting in the whatsit still hurts like a bastard. I had to go for a lie down and a cry, and my Mum laughed.
I never got the badge.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 14 Jul 2006, 8:52,
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