I hurt my rude bitsSpent all day with a sore bum, went to the loo to check it out and found blood in my pants. Not good. Piles? Checked in the shower and pulled a staple from my arse. Serves me right for leaving an old pencil case in my underwear drawer. BTW: On relating this story to a friend they said, "some people will do anything for a prick up their bottom."
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rob, Thu 13 Jul 2006, 22:00)
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Wanking WoeWhen I lost my virginity as a first year student, I embarked on a 3 month shagging binge. Literally sleeping with anything. The last one I picked up from the kebab shop at half 12, and she came back to mine, exposed her breasts, and demanded for me to go in bareback with some lubrication. Being VERY sexually inexperienced at the time, I had no form of lubrication. I ran downstairs, grabbed the communal bottle of fairly liquid (citrus), and took it back upstairs.
Then commenced 10-15 minutes of foreplay involving smearing the washing up detergent on my cock and inserting the large bottle up her bone dry vagina.
Once that was done, I had a pretty amazing shag considering the cirumstances. Afterwards, she left, and promised to call me.
She never did.
The next morning I woke up and went for a piss. I had not cleaned the fairy liquid/fanny juice off my cock, and it had chemically reacted to form a thin layer of acidic skin around my cock. By piercing it with piss, it pulled on the skin, causing it to tear off.
Never again.
(, Fri 14 Jul 2006, 10:57, Reply)
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