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This is a question I hurt my rude bits

Spent all day with a sore bum, went to the loo to check it out and found blood in my pants. Not good. Piles? Checked in the shower and pulled a staple from my arse. Serves me right for leaving an old pencil case in my underwear drawer. BTW: On relating this story to a friend they said, "some people will do anything for a prick up their bottom."

(, Thu 13 Jul 2006, 22:00)
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When I was a teenager
my mum used to teach mentally handicapped people. Unfortunately for her she managed to pick up scabies from someone in the group, and being as this is very contagious our whole household had to be treated at the same time to help prevent reinfection.

So, my mum brings this large bottle of benzyl benzoate lotion home and we're told that we need to cover our bodies with it. Leave it for a while, shower it off and do the same the next day.

Now after a bit of research I'd read that scabies could be particularly nasty in the genital areas and arm pits. So amred with this knowledge I proceded to apply ample amounts of this cool white lotion to my body, making sure that my groin and pits get sufficient attention.

Within 5 minutes I feel like someone is holding a blow-torch to my bollocks. I filled the sink with cold water and dangled my nuts in it while I could but was soon overwhelmed by the pain and collapsed in a foetal whimpering mass on the floor.

I have broken and crushed dozens of bones in the past but I would still rank this as one of the most painful experiences of my life :(
(, Fri 14 Jul 2006, 12:09, Reply)

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