Tight Fit
About 7 or 8 years ago I was driving down to London from Newcastle when I felt the need for a jimmy riddle. I stopped at a service station to use the bog, but as I entered one of the 2 the cubicles I noticed a hole in the side which went to the adjacent netty. I stopped for a minute, and thought, hey, that looks like one of them glory hole thingies.

Just then, I heard the door go and somebody enter the nextdoor toilet. It was at that moment I made a decision. You're only young once I told myself, so I whipped down me keggs and proceeded to push my meat through the hole. Even though the hole was tiny, with a bit of a squeeze I managed to slip the fella in , then stood there waiting patiently for fun time.

A few minutes passed by...I heard a couple of logs hitting water...bottom wiping procedures...followed by a flush. Then it started. A few slow tugs, followed suddenly by much harder pulls, I was starting to worry it might come off in the persons hand if they pulled any harder. Anyway, I've never been a man of stamina so after about 30 seconds I felt my load shoot out into oblivion.

I withdrew my man from the front line, and looked around for some bog roll to wipe my chopper with. I couldn't find any?? It was at that point I noticed the toilet roll holder peeking out from behind the u bend and it hit me...the hole in the wall was not only correctly positioned as a glory one, but also at the right height for the holder. I'd only poked myself through one of the screw holes hadn't I.

I left the cubicle realising my error, but as the other guy seemed to enjoy it too I simply chalked it down to experience...Until, that is, I saw who it was that came out that cubicle......it was David Blunkett..."I never knew they put soap dispensers inside the cubicle now, that one seems a bit jammed though, but after a few hard tugs I soon got it in the end".

Everytime I see him on the news now I can't help chuckle to myself "That's David Blunkett, he nearly pulled my todge off, Heh heh heh you've washed your hands in Lt Columbo gunk you have"
(Lt Columbo, Fri 14 Jul 2006, 23:16, Reply)