I hurt my rude bitsSpent all day with a sore bum, went to the loo to check it out and found blood in my pants. Not good. Piles? Checked in the shower and pulled a staple from my arse. Serves me right for leaving an old pencil case in my underwear drawer. BTW: On relating this story to a friend they said, "some people will do anything for a prick up their bottom."
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rob, Thu 13 Jul 2006, 22:00)
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Butt cheeksI must have been about eight when this happened. I was playing hide and seek with my sister who was, at the time, in the hall counting to 100. I was in the living room looking for somewhere to hide. It didn't take very long for her to get to the higher numbers. I could hear her outside getting closer to "Ready or not".
91 - 92 - 93
Where am I going to hide? There was nothing. If I went behind the TV she'd see me immediately (pre-video days - big gap under telly).
94 - 95 - 96
Lie down by coffee table and hope she doesn't see me? That'll never work.
97 - 98 - 99
As she said 100, I spotted a gap behind the armchair in the corner. I went for it, leaping over the chair in the greatest of hurry, and flopping down behind it bum first.
It was at this point I found where my mam kept her knitting bag courtesy of a yarking thick needle sticking up, pointy end skyward. It was now firmly embedded in my bum cheek. Hide and seek was quickly abandoned as I realised that I'd stabbed myself in the arse.
Oddly enough, I don't remember it hurting that much. Big shock though. When you're eight years old, a knitting needle is a sword. Which is a story for another day.
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andyparmo bumming sheeps since, Mon 17 Jul 2006, 16:19,
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