
Spent all day with a sore bum, went to the loo to check it out and found blood in my pants. Not good. Piles? Checked in the shower and pulled a staple from my arse. Serves me right for leaving an old pencil case in my underwear drawer. BTW: On relating this story to a friend they said, "some people will do anything for a prick up their bottom."
( , Thu 13 Jul 2006, 22:00)
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Aside from some friction burns and some sport related groinal impacts (who knew that tiddleywinks could be so nasty?) my rude bits have not suffered too much (touch wood).
A family friend had a bollock-tingelingy awful experience that makes me wince to this day. He was standing on a kitchen chair to change a lightbulb (fully clothed, it's not that kind of story). Without warning the chair collapses beneath him and he gets several inches of splintery chair leg in the barse/notcher/biffin bridge/taint/badlands/scruttocks (thanks to Roger's Profanisaurus for many of those). It took ages to heal up and the doctors had to revisit it several weeks later to remove a previously undiscovered splinter, after which I'm told it healed up a treat. Now it just serves as a cautionary tale about changing lightbulbs without suitable safety equipment, (presumably including a pair of steel underpants).
( , Tue 18 Jul 2006, 13:38, Reply)
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