I hurt my rude bitsSpent all day with a sore bum, went to the loo to check it out and found blood in my pants. Not good. Piles? Checked in the shower and pulled a staple from my arse. Serves me right for leaving an old pencil case in my underwear drawer. BTW: On relating this story to a friend they said, "some people will do anything for a prick up their bottom."
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rob, Thu 13 Jul 2006, 22:00)
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Not me this time but still in SmoglandA house mate of mine at Uni had a habit of picking up the skankiest slappers he could get for a bottle of Lambrini, because of this he had a season ticket for the GUM clinic. Not a fortnight went by without him coming home with a dose of crabs (once in his eyebrows which doesn't bear thinking about).
This state of affairs probably would have continued for the rest of the year if it wasn't for his habit of constantly whinging about his self-inflicted discomfort (I think he was an early Emo, he did like the Smiths)
We decided the easiest way to prevent his ongoing problems was to the 'total deforestation' approach, the tube of ointment he had to treat the infestation was of the foil variety which, when you fully unroll it is open at the end, this made it easy to subtitute the contents for Immac (long before it became Veet).
Apparently our friends four doors down heard his screams.... One day I'll read those instructions about skin sensitivity he threw at us, I was too busy laughing at the time.
It did fix his problem, he was too paranoid to risk catching another dose.
Apologies but the length does get shorter as you use the ointment up.
(, Tue 18 Jul 2006, 17:04, Reply)
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