I hurt my rude bits
Spent all day with a sore bum, went to the loo to check it out and found blood in my pants. Not good. Piles? Checked in the shower and pulled a staple from my arse. Serves me right for leaving an old pencil case in my underwear drawer. BTW: On relating this story to a friend they said, "some people will do anything for a prick up their bottom."
( , Thu 13 Jul 2006, 22:00)
Spent all day with a sore bum, went to the loo to check it out and found blood in my pants. Not good. Piles? Checked in the shower and pulled a staple from my arse. Serves me right for leaving an old pencil case in my underwear drawer. BTW: On relating this story to a friend they said, "some people will do anything for a prick up their bottom."
( , Thu 13 Jul 2006, 22:00)
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I burnt my arse via a meat-based drink
A member of my family used to have a liking for bowls of Bovril - that popular beef beverage - with chunks of bread soaked into it.
Not the most fancy of meals I know, but then again he was a bit of a cunt.
One day he made said 'meal' in a large pyrex dish and left it on a dining room chair while he got a spoon.
Enter the five year old me not looking where I sat down
Result?
One slightly scalded, beef flavoured Boss Mew arse, a pissed off hungry family member and squishy bovril infused chunks of bread clinging to my rump
Luckily there was no permenant physical damage. Although I've never drunk Bovril since
( , Wed 19 Jul 2006, 8:41, Reply)
A member of my family used to have a liking for bowls of Bovril - that popular beef beverage - with chunks of bread soaked into it.
Not the most fancy of meals I know, but then again he was a bit of a cunt.
One day he made said 'meal' in a large pyrex dish and left it on a dining room chair while he got a spoon.
Enter the five year old me not looking where I sat down
Result?
One slightly scalded, beef flavoured Boss Mew arse, a pissed off hungry family member and squishy bovril infused chunks of bread clinging to my rump
Luckily there was no permenant physical damage. Although I've never drunk Bovril since
( , Wed 19 Jul 2006, 8:41, Reply)
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