I hurt my rude bitsSpent all day with a sore bum, went to the loo to check it out and found blood in my pants. Not good. Piles? Checked in the shower and pulled a staple from my arse. Serves me right for leaving an old pencil case in my underwear drawer. BTW: On relating this story to a friend they said, "some people will do anything for a prick up their bottom."
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rob, Thu 13 Jul 2006, 22:00)
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Giving birth hurtsGiving birth to my overly large son wasn't a pleasant experience. After being advised that the doctor was going to have to 'make a little cut' so there was more room to insert the salad server style forceps, I reluctantly agreed asking that if he was going to give me one large hole rather than the regulation two perhaps he could do that in just one cut? 'Yes, yes, of course' he says, whilst happily rumaging at the foot end of the bed going 'snip snip snip'. Understandably annoyed, I chose to ignore the large snapping sound I heard as my child was finally wrenched from my poor wrecked lady bits. I found out the next day that the snapping was my coccyx breaking, resulting in me being unable to sit up straight for three months and an unusual feeling of it wobbling around when I sit on a hard surface. Still, in my traumatized mind I like to pretend the snapping noise was just a doctor putting on their gloves. Denial is my friend.
(, Wed 19 Jul 2006, 9:35, Reply)
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